A life of seclusion

Seventhson · 2010-12-09T15:30:01+00:00

So For the past four years my social life has been dead :'( other than a few months when I was in that band. All this time I have just been playing guitar and practising singing is this a normal thing ?

vic

Seventhson wrote Got grade 9 and went to college. I then got a degree in n+ and A+ and been sitting on my ass all the time.

I have no confidence at all. I am terrified meeting new people. I don't now how to drive(no one has taken the effort to show me :'()

I don't really live close to shops at all.

Are you kidding us...? :-[

---mario---

Ey, why dont you ask one of the music stores? Even if you just handle their emails at first (Im sure they get quite flooded with them) and phone a driving instructor, I dont live in Jhb but here most of them are willing to pick you up wherever to take you for lessons, Im sure thats possible there? Peace out

Seventhson

Sorry people I needed to vent ??? ?

makepeace

Driving is an excellent confidence inspirer. If you can get that down you're ready to conquer ?

Seventhson

makepeace wrote Driving is an excellent confidence inspirer. If you can get that down you're ready to conquer ?

I think that is why I feel so kak. Once I can drive I can look properly for a job.

vic

Seventhson wrote
makepeace wrote Driving is an excellent confidence inspirer. If you can get that down you're ready to conquer ?
I think that is why I feel so kak. Once I can drive I can look properly for a job.

There are sooo many nice people (on this forum) living in JhB...why don't you PM some of them and join in jamming with them? I am sure that you'll be very welcome.
You gotta start moving around...! ?

aubs1

7thson, I really don't mean to be mean, so please take this as a bit of advice........... i think you are a sympathy-seeker, what you need is to undergo a "tough-love" program. ....... no one is gonna come to you and teach you to drive, or give you strings for your guitar, etc, etc.

I agree 100% with Mika.....

MIKA the better one wrote you can get 3000 examples of what to do from all of us, but it wont help one bit if you sity around...
A job should be easy to get, you went to high school did you not?

......... I think you should stop feeling sorry for yourself, and start doing things for yourself, no matter how hard........ not all of us grew up with silver spoons, I for one went through many tough times, but I never gave up....... so get a bit of positivity going, you can only get better......

.......my 5c worth...

raithza

energy, whether negative or positive, can be channeled - so channel this into your guitar playing and get awesome at guitar!!

Seventhson

raithza wrote energy, whether negative or positive, can be channeled - so channel this into your guitar playing and get awesome at guitar!!

Take all my anger and frustration and just shred? I think my guitar power comes from my anger?

Jack-Flash-Jr

Dude, there are thousands of young women and men in exactly the same situation in your area, never mind the country.
First figure out what is causing your paralysis.
Is it physical/medical/mental? Depression, low blood sugar, chronic fatigue etc. etc.
Then address that aspect.
Excercise! Will help any and all of the above, maybe join a club. You're already part of an community of friends (that's us btw).
You seem perfectly personable on-line so low self esteem might be putting people off, pretend you're confident and that will help.
Also some practical pointers, look neat, smell good and don't wear a black pentagram t-shirt to a job interview (no matter what it is). I'm not suggesting you "sell out" (I've had long hair pretty much my whole adult career), just be practical until they get to know you.
Last and most important... you play guitar. My friend, you are already many steps ahead of the average ~~virgin~~ less experienced dude. You're already cool, how cool is that?!
ps. anger ain't going to help anything... it's a temporary energy boost at best. Why are you angry? Figure it out and take positive steps (even tiny ones) to sort it out.

Seventhson

Jack Flash Jr wrote Dude, there are thousands of young women and men in exactly the same situation in your area, never mind the country.
First figure out what is causing your paralysis.
Is it physical/medical/mental? Depression, low blood sugar, chronic fatigue etc. etc.
Then address that aspect.
Excercise! Will help any and all of the above, maybe join a club. You're already part of an community of friends (that's us btw).
You seem perfectly personable on-line so low self esteem might be putting people off, pretend you're confident and that will help.
Also some practical pointers, look neat, smell good and don't wear a black pentagram t-shirt to a job interview (no matter what it is). I'm not suggesting you "sell out" (I've had long hair pretty much my whole adult career), just be practical until they get to know you.
Last and most important... you play guitar. My friend, you are already many steps ahead of the average ~~virgin~~ less experienced dude. You're already cool, how cool is that?!
ps. anger ain't going to help anything... it's a temporary energy boost at best. Why are you angry? Figure it out and take positive steps (even tiny ones) to sort it out.

I am a slayer fan?

I actually don't dress metal when I look for jobs. And I have short hair. I do look neat and tidy. Don't have a black pentagram t-shirt?
What worries me if I get more experience with the ladies I might loose my guitar power?

Jack-Flash-Jr

Seventhson wrote
Jack Flash Jr wrote Dude, there are thousands of young women and men in exactly the same situation in your area, never mind the country.
First figure out what is causing your paralysis.
Is it physical/medical/mental? Depression, low blood sugar, chronic fatigue etc. etc.
Then address that aspect.
Excercise! Will help any and all of the above, maybe join a club. You're already part of an community of friends (that's us btw).
You seem perfectly personable on-line so low self esteem might be putting people off, pretend you're confident and that will help.
Also some practical pointers, look neat, smell good and don't wear a black pentagram t-shirt to a job interview (no matter what it is). I'm not suggesting you "sell out" (I've had long hair pretty much my whole adult career), just be practical until they get to know you.
Last and most important... you play guitar. My friend, you are already many steps ahead of the average ~~virgin~~ less experienced dude. You're already cool, how cool is that?!
ps. anger ain't going to help anything... it's a temporary energy boost at best. Why are you angry? Figure it out and take positive steps (even tiny ones) to sort it out.
I am a slayer fan?

I actually don't dress metal when I look for jobs. And I have short hair. I do look neat and tidy. Don't have a black pentagram t-shirt?
What worries me if I get more experience with the ladies I might loose my guitar power?

Kerry King kills ?

You're going to be fine. Good shit happens!

Seventhson

Jack Flash Jr wrote
Seventhson wrote
Jack Flash Jr wrote Dude, there are thousands of young women and men in exactly the same situation in your area, never mind the country.
First figure out what is causing your paralysis.
Is it physical/medical/mental? Depression, low blood sugar, chronic fatigue etc. etc.
Then address that aspect.
Excercise! Will help any and all of the above, maybe join a club. You're already part of an community of friends (that's us btw).
You seem perfectly personable on-line so low self esteem might be putting people off, pretend you're confident and that will help.
Also some practical pointers, look neat, smell good and don't wear a black pentagram t-shirt to a job interview (no matter what it is). I'm not suggesting you "sell out" (I've had long hair pretty much my whole adult career), just be practical until they get to know you.
Last and most important... you play guitar. My friend, you are already many steps ahead of the average ~~virgin~~ less experienced dude. You're already cool, how cool is that?!
ps. anger ain't going to help anything... it's a temporary energy boost at best. Why are you angry? Figure it out and take positive steps (even tiny ones) to sort it out.
I am a slayer fan?

I actually don't dress metal when I look for jobs. And I have short hair. I do look neat and tidy. Don't have a black pentagram t-shirt?
What worries me if I get more experience with the ladies I might loose my guitar power?
Kerry King kills ?

You're going to be fine. Good shit happens!

I learnt to play guitar to piss of my ex-girl friend. She always wanted to play but just could not get it right? She was not a very nice person. So in four months time I could play seek and destroy by metallica.

Bob-Dubery

Seventhson, you are in a hole, and the nature of this type of hole is that they get deeper with no effort on your part. All you have to do is nothing and the hole will get deeper and deeper.

Time to honestly review your options. Some of them may not sound that appealing, but then also try to extrapolate the option of doing nothing and just letting your situation continue on it's current path.

Many years ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I used to work in a counselling center. I did admin work and manned the switchboard. I am not a trained counsellor, but one hears and picks up things, and there was one piece of advice I heard quite often: When you are in a depressing or dissatisfying situation the worst thing to do is nothing.

You have to DO something. Emphasis on the word "do".

What that something is is a decision you must make. Try to look at the bigger picture as well. Say you can get R20 an hour for walking somebody's dogs, or R5000 a month working in IT support. You might not find either option appealing, but with that money you could buy strings, or take some driving lessons, or start saving for a car, or get a bank account and start to build up a credit record or.... or.... or... That first job might not be what you want to do to satisfy your own soul, but it can help to get you into a position where you can do the things that you want to do. It's also a foot on the first rung of the ladder. If you're not on the ladder you can't climb.

Look at the folks around you. Notice how many of them have hobbies, things that they do outside of work. Work doesn't satisfy completely, but it can allow you to do all those other things that are satisfying but also take up other resources.

I understand that flipping burgers or telling people how to get some virus or other off of their PC is not what you are passionate about, but if you have a job, and if it brings in money then you get into a position where you can do the things that you are passionate about. Also you will be interacting with people and you will be occupied with something other than mediating on the relentless kakness of it all.

If you don't want to think in terms of getting a job, then think about what you want, what you need to get what you want, and how you can get whatever that thing is that you need. The answers will probably be "money" and "get a job", but this may be a better way of looking at things because the job is not the end but a means.

Sit down with somebody closer to you than I am, who knows your situation better, and start reviewing your options.

Don't get too hung up about a car or being driven in a car. For 2 years recently I worked for a company in Sandton. There were lots of people in the IT department (which was where I worked) who were about your age and your colour, and they got to and from work by public transport. It can be done and it doesn't kill anybody, and they were in a position where they could start thinking about their own car. Or about that new overdrive pedal.

[deleted]

I think every one is being so nice, it really makes me feel proud to be on this forum. It also goes to show how many people understand your situation. To put things into perspective 7th son, I've been working towards one goal for the past 10 years and am only now starting to realise it. It's been fun though and every little step helps.

Seventhson

X-rated Bob wrote Seventhson, you are in a hole, and the nature of this type of hole is that they get deeper with no effort on your part. All you have to do is nothing and the hole will get deeper and deeper.

Time to honestly review your options. Some of them may not sound that appealing, but then also try to extrapolate the option of doing nothing and just letting your situation continue on it's current path.

Many years ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I used to work in a counselling center. I did admin work and manned the switchboard. I am not a trained counsellor, but one hears and picks up things, and there was one piece of advice I heard quite often: When you are in a depressing or dissatisfying situation the worst thing to do is nothing.

You have to DO something. Emphasis on the word "do".

What that something is is a decision you must make. Try to look at the bigger picture as well. Say you can get R20 an hour for walking somebody's dogs, or R5000 a month working in IT support. You might not find either option appealing, but with that money you could buy strings, or take some driving lessons, or start saving for a car, or get a bank account and start to build up a credit record or.... or.... or... That first job might not be what you want to do to satisfy your own soul, but it can help to get you into a position where you can do the things that you want to do. It's also a foot on the first rung of the ladder. If you're not on the ladder you can't climb.

Look at the folks around you. Notice how many of them have hobbies, things that they do outside of work. Work doesn't satisfy completely, but it can allow you to do all those other things that are satisfying but also take up other resources.

I understand that flipping burgers or telling people how to get some virus or other off of their PC is not what you are passionate about, but if you have a job, and if it brings in money then you get into a position where you can do the things that you are passionate about. Also you will be interacting with people and you will be occupied with something other than mediating on the relentless kakness of it all.

If you don't want to think in terms of getting a job, then think about what you want, what you need to get what you want, and how you can get whatever that thing is that you need. The answers will probably be "money" and "get a job", but this may be a better way of looking at things because the job is not the end but a means.

Sit down with somebody closer to you than I am, who knows your situation better, and start reviewing your options.

Don't get too hung up about a car or being driven in a car. For 2 years recently I worked for a company in Sandton. There were lots of people in the IT department (which was where I worked) who were about your age and your colour, and they got to and from work by public transport. It can be done and it doesn't kill anybody, and they were in a position where they could start thinking about their own car. Or about that new overdrive pedal.

Thanks every one. I really am not trying to get symphony(?) Just wanted some advise from fellow musos. I have decided to start a IT career in incredible connection. The horror?

You all are really good people. I have days when I am down and just need to vent? But mainly I am happy of late. Not nearly and depressed as I was a few years ago. Just a little impatient?

chris77

Thanks Bob. Great advice, that I personally needed to be reminded of. I have been bitching about my job for a year or two now, but how many cv's have I sent out? Time to do more and complain less. Bit of a sidetrack, but previously when I felt trapped by circumstance I found solace in U2's Stuck in a Moment. It really rang true for me.

Seventhson

I find solace in megadeth ???

chris77

Megadeth hey? Well it could be worse. It could have bostik and a papsak. Or, heaven forbid, even the jonas brothers... ?

inflames

I think every one is being so nice, it really makes me feel proud to be on this forum.

Agree, most people on the forum has respect for their fellow musos!
Today exactly 2 years ago I joined the forum, and have never looked back!

You all rock!

« Previous Page Next Page »