So how do you cope with noisy audience members?

Bob-Dubery

Excluding friends and family (and dogs) I don't play in front of an audience that often. I also don't play for a living (or even for any kind of income) - so I might be underexposed to certain aspects of live performance.

Like a guy I "ran into" last night at TJs. I accept that some people are just going to carry on with their meal and their conversation whilst performances are going on. I don't approve but I accept. C'est la vie.

But this charley... I got plugged in, checked that everything was making the right noises, introduced my first tune and whilst I was doing so put the capo in position. I heard this very loud voice saying "Oh look! Capo at fret 2. Drop - D". He wasn't talking to anybody in particular, he was just leaning on the bar (looked like standing was not much of an option).

And so it went. I'd been told to pad my set out a bit, so I tried to give a little bit of information about each song I played. My "new friend" was Scottish (so "drop D" was more like "drrrrrop D") and when I introduced a song written by Robbie Burns I and the audience got a large dollop of extra information (his thick accent rendered even more difficult by a distinct slur).

I tried to work a little joke about poetic forms into the intro for the next song which was "Spenser The Rover" ("is it Iambic Pentameter I hear you ask? How about Anapestic Trimeter? No... it's that great traditional English poetic form doggerel"). Now the connections start up in my new friend's mind: Poetic form implies Poet. Poet implies Robbie Burns. Robbie Burns implies Scotland and all things Scottish. Hoots Mon and away we go!

Half way through my last song a cell phone rings. Guess who.... "Hello! HELLO! YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, SOMEBODY'S PLAYING SOME @#$%ING MUSIC..... WHAT? WHO THE @#$% IS THIS???"

This carried on through the set by the following act. Then he took another phone call and did know who the @#$% it was this time and went outside.

I've never run into anything like this before. I thought I did a reasonable job of getting the topic away from Scotland and back on poetry fairly quickly, but he continued to have lots to say and it was hard work with your tunings and technique being described as you started each tune. And then that cell phone conversation... why couldn't he do the decent thing and just pass out? I didn't want to get into crossing words with the guy, life and the time allocated to me being too short (and he was a pretty large guy), but it did seem a bit much - and not just for me but everybody else present.

Do any of you have similar experiences to share? Any tips on dealing with this?

Squonk

I think you did quite well Bob, I have never experienced this due to my lack of playing live. I do recall on one of Joan Baez albums I had about 300 years ago, she actually reprimanded the crowd for being noisy...

And the staff at TJ's, arent they on the lookout for this, to quietly remove the loudmouth?

MoJo-JoJoe

Neps

Bob.. hahaha.. That is realy irritating when one audience member gets a bit too loud.. I have an advantage.. I'm very tall, and bald.. Looks of a BikerMouse from Mars is not far off.. So a quick look in the direction does cure that most of the times.. But I've got BIG friends who seem to get more roudy than the occasional audience member, and them I can look at and say 'please shut up, I'm trying to score..' :-[

But.. a sure way to get them quiet.. nope, none I can think of. I did have a friend though who once called a particular person up on stage, handed over the guitar and said 'if you're that good, do something'.. turned out the guy DID know how to play, did KNOW a few tricks, and ended up being a good sport, although just a bit under the Whisky Spell..

CDee

I just think that that should be handled by the venue... Let the bouncer sort him out! ?

Bob-Dubery

CDee wrote: I just think that that should be handled by the venue... Let the bouncer sort him out! ?

Well TJs is a club with no profit motive and which hires premises. Usually they hire a room at the Marks Park Club. Neither organisation has bouncers, and I haven't usually seen much of a need for them. It's usually a good natured place, and, to be fair, the person under discussion was not being aggressive. He was just pissed and loud.

I suppose if enough of the audience told him to shut up he might have, but people don't want to seem rude I suppose...

AlanRatcliffe

Open mic and folk "clubs" are a bit of a strange situation as they are commonly arranged in watering holes or restaurants. The thing is, you're essentially on the punter's turf and you can't always assume that they are there to listen to you - a lot of the time they're there for a meal/drink and you just happen to be there and they feel that it's you intruding on their conversation. Obviously the odd "knowitall" or the guy whose social awareness declines as his alcohol consumption increases (often embodied in the same individual) is a different case though.

Never berate an audience member. Unless being a master comedian with a snappy repartee is part of your act, there's a distinct possibility you're going to alienate part of the audience, get jeered at or even beaten up (BTW, a Telecaster is about the best weapon you can have in a pub brawl, while an expensive acoustic is about the worst ?). If you do have a few snappy retorts ready you can win the rest of the audience over while you humiliate the problem individual, but to be honest, this is an approach you have to have in your character - you can't fake it.

I have a few approaches I try: Firstly, command their attention with your playing (admittedly easier said than done, but we all have our "party pieces"). Second approach is sometimes easier: large (preferably distorted) amplifiers - drown 'em out (admittedly this doesn't usually go down well with the other patrons - especially at a folk or open mic venue).

Finally, for the folk venues I use two Bob Dylan methods: firstly I'll stop playing and start mumbling into the mic until everyone shuts up trying to hear what I'm saying, then launch into the next number when they are all straining their ears. The second is for the catcalling types - I'll just say "I don't believe you. You're a liar." - which works surprisingly often as more get the reference than I would have credited.

Neps

Alan Ratcliffe wrote: (BTW, a Telecaster is about the best weapon you can have in a pub brawl, while an expensive acoustic is about the worst ?).

lol... I'd pay money to see someone get smacked with a Tele.. I hope this is not from experience Alan

andrewjbryson

"I dont believe you , your a liar!"

Lol , love it

Bob-Dubery

Neps wrote:
Alan Ratcliffe wrote: (BTW, a Telecaster is about the best weapon you can have in a pub brawl, while an expensive acoustic is about the worst ?).
lol... I'd pay money to see someone get smacked with a Tele.. I hope this is not from experience Alan

Keith Richards once did something along those lines.

When asked why he kept on hitting the punter concerned he replied "well he keeps on getting up again".

Bob-Dubery

MoJo JoJoe wrote: I ask politely - twice....then I kick him in the head and help him outside. ? Naa I was into that 20 years ago...

Truthfully there's not much you can do because you never know if the guy gets aggressive or if he has a sharper tongue than you. Just ignore him and don't make any eye contact. Speak to other audience members. If it gets really out of hand, you can start to rally other audience members against him - like asking if THEY were enjoying their evening of disruptions so far.

Good on you for keeping your cool.

I was tempted to try some of the old Scottish classics like "pick a window, Jimmy - you're leaving" but the problem with those kinds of things is that if you start them you might need to finish them.

Neps

Bob Dubery wrote:
I was tempted to try some of the old Scottish classics like "pick a window, Jimmy - you're leaving" but the problem with those kinds of things is that if you start them you might need to finish them.

I should remember that line.. CLASSIC!! ?

AlanRatcliffe

Neps wrote: lol... I'd pay money to see someone get smacked with a Tele.. I hope this is not from experience Alan

Thankfully no, but I've seen so many abused guitars and Teles always seem to come out ahead.

CDee

A friend of mine told me once that his brother's band was playing at a venue where there is more booze than brains. This one loudmouth kept on shouting for them to do "Stairway to Heaven". Well, they are not cover band. So again this guy starts yelling for "Stairway to heaven" with some abusive langue to go with it. So the lead singer and guitarist starts ripping the intro to Stairway to heaven with absolute precision. So the drunk starts cheering. The singer/guitarist stops playing looks up and says: "Sorry, I don't know that song." ? ?
That was the end of that...

Ray

Alan Ratcliffe wrote: Never berate an audience member.

Not inside the venue anyway. There will be instances when you need to chastise someone. That is why they make carparks.

Lethe

Walk up to him with a cigar and say: "I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk? "

Explorerlover

:roflmao:

That's the way to do the Lethe...stern but fair...

Gray

"This is Sparta!!" before proceeding to kick him/her/it/them into the giant pit of death. ?

MoJo-JoJoe

Riaan-Combrink

Bob Dubery wrote: [a Telecaster is about the best weapon you can have in a pub brawl, while an expensive acoustic is about the worst ?).
Keith Richards once did something along those lines.
When asked why he kept on hitting the punter concerned he replied "well he keeps on getting up again".

Here's the infamous Keith Richards clip. Most impressive, given the context, is how he finds the Satisfaction riff again ...

I don't want to appear as if I'm advocating violence towars the audience,but here are a few situations where artists either took it badly or failed to show the necessary restraint:

Amy Winehouse:

Why Alan is right. Never threaten violence to the audience. Comedian Pauly Shore gets more than he bargained for:

Pauls Stanley of KISS goes for humiliating the guy over the microphone:

This is ridiculous. Drummer not happy with monitor mix. Fight ensues between soundguy and entire band: