OMG Pro Bassist!

Warren

http://johannesburg.gumtree.co.za/c-Community-musicians-artists-PRO-BASSIST-AVAILABLE-W0QQAdIdZ355668539

Content of above ad:

Bass player available for PAYING GIGS ONLY.
I play G,C and D. If your songs are not in G, please transpose them to G. If your songs have any 'odd' notes in them I may refuse to play them. I may be prepared to learn 'odd' notes for R50-R100 each. (Price increases with acsending fretboard position).
If you want me to do fancy stuff like play G and D while you hold a G chord, forget it, I don't do fancy stuff so don't ask me.
Minimum fee of R1500 per gig in a 5km radius of my house, collect me and my gear and drop me off at home afterwards. Thanks.
Email me if interested.

Warren

Aaaaahahaha! And another one!

Is there something in the strings of a bass that gets absorbed via the fingertips?

http://johannesburg.gumtree.co.za/c-Community-musicians-artists-Bass-Player-W0QQAdIdZ352467374

Bass player, 42 years young. 25 years of experience playing blues, rock ,funk and reggae in the UK, looking for a band for creative fun and maybe earn some cash.
Just spent the last year working hard for nothing, don't want to go through that again. Full Fender stack, Precision, own transport et al. Randburg area but will travel. No prima donnas please. I'm trying Gumtree 'cos you just never know who's out there.
Drop me an email and we'll go from there. Cheers, Steve.

(I've been getting some quite odd replies to my ad, like 'who/what do you sound like'?....Well guess what?.. I pretty much sound like a bass player playing a Precision in the styles above. My favourite players at the moment are John Entwistle, Kim Gordon and JJ Burnell but this may or may not have any bearing on what I sound like. My favourite food is pan-seared scallops in Vermouth, favourite drink is vodka and coke and my favourite smells are fear and money. Things I don't like are pompous knob-heads or sorry mofo poets. I'll also not get involved with anyone who has imaginary friends or who clearly needs a prescription for another mental illness).
If you are not a mofo poet or pompous knob-head and you do not sing-song to an imaginary friend please get in touch.

Keira-WitherKay

Warren wrote: http://johannesburg.gumtree.co.za/c-Community-musicians-artists-PRO-BASSIST-AVAILABLE-W0QQAdIdZ355668539

Content of above ad:

Bass player available for PAYING GIGS ONLY.
I play G,C and D. If your songs are not in G, please transpose them to G. If your songs have any 'odd' notes in them I may refuse to play them. I may be prepared to learn 'odd' notes for R50-R100 each. (Price increases with acsending fretboard position).
If you want me to do fancy stuff like play G and D while you hold a G chord, forget it, I don't do fancy stuff so don't ask me.
Minimum fee of R1500 per gig in a 5km radius of my house, collect me and my gear and drop me off at home afterwards. Thanks.
Email me if interested.

ok that 1st ad is way too off the wall to be serious............. someone must be striking a blow against the bassist community in the name of jest

DonovanB

Both ads were posted by the same person.

http://johannesburg.gumtree.co.za/c-PostersOtherAds-W0QQUserIdZ52365571

funny stuff though.

Warren

Keira WitherKay wrote:
ok that 1st ad is way too off the wall to be serious............. someone must be striking a blow against the bassist community in the name of jest

I think that's pretty obvious, I just think it's funny. ? The second ad is serious enough, but I like his style.

AlanRatcliffe

You need a good sense of humour to be a bassist. ?

...I'd hire him. ?

Jack-Flash-Jr

?

The first one is copypasta from a U.S joke ad... no less brilliant for it though!

Warren

Joe Moore wrote: Our bass guitarist suddenly relocated back to Canada in January, I recently responded to the second ad twice , ........ never got an answer , now I know why . :-\

You didn't ask him who he sounds like, did you? ?

deefstes

Joe Moore wrote: Our bass guitarist suddenly relocated back to Canada in January, I recently responded to the second ad twice , ........ never got an answer , now I know why . :-\

Why? Are you a "mofo poet, pompous knob-head" or do you "sing-song to an imaginary friend"? ?

Midinut

Just remembered when I joined my first band the question came up about what instrument would be the most difficult to play? Invariably everybody had the idea that bass would be the simplest...hence this clown's Gumtree ad!

The bassist just stands there dreaming away playing one note at a time....