Work / life balance (warning: I am whining)

Conrad

We have an audition today but had to ask owner of venue if we can have it later because I couldn't get away at work.

I often find myself in this situation. This is like balancing a marble on a balloon.

You pay too much attention to music and tremendous stress ensues because your livelihood is suddenly in jeopardy. You pay too much attention to work and you lament being prevented from using your talent. It's like the balance between the 2 is just 1 infinitely small point somewhere.

:'(

DonovanB

I was just thinking about that myself. it is a tough call.

Squonk

Easy peasy stuff Conrad

I am balancing quite a couple of marbles on my balloon. Family vs Work vs Guitar, it's pretty hectic!

This is why TJ's might not happen for me this week, I am going to have to network the whole family together, install MS Exchange and make sure they all update their calendars and then I can plan my guitar stuff . Why do schools have functions on Thursday Nights? >☹

Wizard

mmm ...
Like when you feel guilty for leaving work so early ... then get home and feel guilty for arriving home so late ...

Conrad

Wizard wrote mmm ...
Like when you feel guilty for leaving work so early ... then get home and feel guilty for arriving home so late ...

That is the situation EXACTLY

Keira-WitherKay

well all the muso's doing music and another job i do feel your pain...........

even doing music fulltime as i do i feel i still desert my partner too often ..........in favour of working on music/performing

so i don't know how you guys and girls cope..........

how do you find the time to work on music/compose/record just find time to listen to other muso's to get inspired........... and still have a full day job 5 days a week and a home life and kids................ and a partner who might not understand your passion for music........ oh and also face the morning /evening traffic which consumes another few hours of ones day if you don't live upstairs from the office............

honestly i would not have have the strength to cope with it all............ so respect

DonovanB

I think the key is having people around you who understand.

I remember taking a week off to go to studio once. Everyone was cool. I had a guitar in my office for when ~~boredom~~ inspiration struck and everyone knew about it.

My wife understands that I need to go play music. She gets a little sulky at times but thats par for the course. There were times when I bailed on practice at the last minute when she needed me and the band understood.

I reckon if you communicate well, people will be cooperative if they care about you.

Skywalker

I think the key is having people around you who understand.

Too true Donovan 8)

Between running around like a headless chicken at work, running my studio after 5 and weekends, jamming and seeing my girfriend/friends(most of whom stay in Stellenbosch) I don't have much time available to split up between everything.

Thankfully I've got people in my life that DO understand where I'm coming from.

I just don't know where I'm going to find time to sleep sometime soon ?

Conrad

Keira WitherKay wrote well all the muso's doing music and another job i do feel your pain...........

even doing music fulltime as i do i feel i still desert my partner too often ..........in favour of working on music/performing

so i don't know how you guys and girls cope..........

how do you find the time to work on music/compose/record just find time to listen to other muso's to get inspired........... and still have a full day job 5 days a week and a home life and kids................ and a partner who might not understand your passion for music........ oh and also face the morning /evening traffic which consumes another few hours of ones day if you don't live upstairs from the office............

honestly i would not have have the strength to cope with it all............ so respect

I literally practice guitar until I stumble to bed. I am fortunate enough to have a musical wife that is my partner in my musical efforts though.

In my case, the hardest part is getting my employer (in this case client) to understand. I literally have to hide the fact that I am musical because I work in an analytical environment and many employers in this specific industry commit a fallacy by thinking that if an employee is creative, he / she can't possibly be analytical.

Today I had an audition at 9am that I had to move to 6pm because my client was not totally at ease with me working in the time at night or over the weekend so now I feel insulted since I delivered some good projects for them. I feel like my character was brought into question and I hate that. ☹ So now the owner of the venue is pissed, I am pissed and my client is pissed.

Bob-Dubery

Conrad wrote In my case, the hardest part is getting my employer (in this case client) to understand. I literally have to hide the fact that I am musical because I work in an analytical environment and many employers in this specific industry commit a fallacy by thinking that if an employee is creative, he / she can't possibly be analytical.

I think there are other stereotypes that come into play as well. EG "musician" = "dagga roker"

Ray

Ja Bob. Nothnig like to klap a skyf when you need some balance hey.

NorioDS

I can definitely relate. Balancing wife, work and music means one inevitably suffers. Right now it's the music. I haven't been practising at all and it's very obvious when I play. But in 2 weeks (when I start lessons again) it will likely be my wife, and then my work, and so the cycle goes :'(

One day, if I ever figure this out, I'll be sure to share the secret ?

singemonkey

Conrad wrote
Keira WitherKay wrote well all the muso's doing music and another job i do feel your pain...........

even doing music fulltime as i do i feel i still desert my partner too often ..........in favour of working on music/performing

so i don't know how you guys and girls cope..........

how do you find the time to work on music/compose/record just find time to listen to other muso's to get inspired........... and still have a full day job 5 days a week and a home life and kids................ and a partner who might not understand your passion for music........ oh and also face the morning /evening traffic which consumes another few hours of ones day if you don't live upstairs from the office............

honestly i would not have have the strength to cope with it all............ so respect
I literally practice guitar until I stumble to bed. I am fortunate enough to have a musical wife that is my partner in my musical efforts though.

In my case, the hardest part is getting my employer (in this case client) to understand. I literally have to hide the fact that I am musical because I work in an analytical environment and many employers in this specific industry commit a fallacy by thinking that if an employee is creative, he / she can't possibly be analytical.

Today I had an audition at 9am that I had to move to 6pm because my client was not totally at ease with me working in the time at night or over the weekend so now I feel insulted since I delivered some good projects for them. I feel like my character was brought into question and I hate that. ☹ So now the owner of the venue is pissed, I am pissed and my client is pissed.

You sound like a candidate for going pro, Conrad. Given that your wife being a musician too will probably make that easier. You may struggle to find ways to make it pay for itself, but you'll figure it out over time. I know professional artists must often find a range of activities to get by - Keira teaches as well as performing for example.

But the upshot would be you'd be congruent with yourself, increasing your overall happiness despite having an initially harder time paying the bills.

chris77

He-he? I worked at a lodge for a while and always had a guitar in the lounge for when I got bored. (Also a great conversation piece mind you)So once I overheard a grandmother (?) telling a little one looking at the guitar - Nee my kind, kitare is vir ducktails en daggarokers... And it wasn't even an electric! It was my sweet innocent little baby Ibby. That kid must be hitting puberty about now. I wonder how many Justin Bieber cd's he has...

Bob-Dubery

Ray wrote Ja Bob. Nothnig like to klap a skyf when you need some balance hey.

Well how else is an oke supposed to put himself on a plak?

Conrad

You sound like a candidate for going pro, Conrad. Given that your wife being a musician too will probably make that easier. You may struggle to find ways to make it pay for itself, but you'll figure it out over time. I know professional artists must often find a range of activities to get by - Keira teaches as well as performing for example.

But the upshot would be you'd be congruent with yourself, increasing your overall happiness despite having an initially harder time paying the bills.

Yes I think about that every day. Trying to find ways to make this happen and utilize money I currently earn to the same end optimally. How to do this responsibly and avoid the perils of the music industry as well. You have to have about 15 battle plans through which to iterate should circumstances demand a particular one.

I am sorry I am venting so much today.

Bob-Dubery

chris77 wrote He-he? I worked at a lodge for a while and always had a guitar in the lounge for when I got bored. (Also a great conversation piece mind you)So once I overheard a grandmother (?) telling a little one looking at the guitar - Nee my kind, kitare is vir ducktails en daggarokers... And it wasn't even an electric! It was my sweet innocent little baby Ibby. That kid must be hitting puberty about now. I wonder how many Justin Bieber cd's he has...

Well things don't change much. When I was at school I was taught that fundamentally there is only ONE problem that a young man might have. Namely a sluggish liver.

How could you tell if a boy had a sluggish liver? Well eventually his marks would drop, but early symptoms were long hair and a fondness for "buzz bikes".

What was the cure? Manly sport. Soccer was not a manly sport, but cricket was getting there and rugby was most certainly a manly sport.

Now in case you're wondering about young ladies, this was (then) a boys only school. I presume that the major problem a young lady might have is a young man with a sluggish liver.

Warren

Interesting thread!

I'm very much the same Conrad: last night I went to bed 2 hours later than intended because I couldn't put my guitar down...it's that "one more go" syndrome. Plus the new guitar syndrome, or maybe it was the amp models, or maybe it was the new song I'm trying, or maybe...blah blah. It never ends.

Having kids makes finding the time for playing music even tougher ? You get them in bed by 20:00 hours and you have a whole 2 hours left before your eyes start to close automatically.

It's tough, but it's definitely do-able. Somehow, if you're willing to make time, it is indeed possible. But I don't think it's ever easy. ?

On the daggarockers thing: I've never experienced this, but my fellow band-mates have ? Among my family and friends, being able to play a musical instrument has always been a very highly regarded past-time.

PeteM

@ Conrad. By default, I've found myself in the same position regarding the pro thing. I retired 2 years ago and had every intention of setting up a video production company to supplement my meager pension. Somehow the music thing has consumed me with approaches from people to teach them guitar to writing and recording music for advertising to playing in a gig band. I'm no where near earning enough money through music and the video side is taking a back seat. The dilemma is, do I soldier on with the addictive music thing and scale down my lifestyle to that of a pauper, or do I put more energy into marketing the video business? Decisions, decisions.

Jack-Flash-Jr

Look at it this way: you're an active musician (cool!), you've got a job that pays the bills (cool!), you've got a family (cool!).
I try to remember that when the marble rolls dangerously close to the edge of the balloon ?