Losing the Groove and owning beautiful ornaments

Hasie

Hey GuitarTalk friends,

Today is just another day at the office on a weekend... Life.
This may be a depressing topic, but I want to share.
I started playing guitar 3 January 2014 for the first time. It was not a new year's resolution, it just worked out that way. I've enjoyed it thoroughly for a long time, even recorded some stuff and took part in GuitarForim SA comps. All was good.
The past year and a half things changed a little. I had my first child and work just got busy. So after working until late on most days and every weekend for months, spending time with the family when there was/is a bit of time, the guitar love faded.
I will still pick up a guitar and play a little every now and then, but I am not pushing or trying to learn new things. The "passion" has faded. I now have very beautiful ornaments hanging on my wall. I used to look at my guitars and could wait to grab one and play. I now look at them and think I have to dust them off a little at some point, and then continue with something else.

No one can give you your love or passion for something back. It is a personal thing that I would have to sort out myself.
I am not asking for advice, but if you do have something to kick me in the butt, then share.

Thanks for reading.

klaasvakie

Hasie The past year and a half things changed a little. I had my first child and work just got busy. So after working until late on most days and every weekend for months, spending time with the family when there was/is a bit of time, the guitar love faded.

Hasie, I think this is normal man. We also had our first kid about a year after I started playing. If you are a bedroom player (like me) there are always going to be more "important" things that will try and push your hobbies to the backburner.

In my experience having a kid also eats up so much time that it is impossible to get to everything, and when I don't get to everything, I just don't beat myself up about it. Unless it's your job, there are always going to be more urgent things than playing guitar, but it is important to look after yourself as well.

It has taken me (and the wife) a long time to figure out how to chisel out some "me-time" for ourselves every day. And it doesn't always work out, but we have tried hard to make that space for each other. Prior to this I would always feel guilty playing guitar when I know there are more productive things I should be doing ---- that road leads to unhappiness.

So I don't really have much advice, but don't feel guilty when picking up the guitar, keeping yourself happy and sane is just as important as all the other things on your to-do list!

V8

Allo @Hasie!

I find my musical passion cyclical - I've either had periods of lots of playing or no playing. I've noticed the more musical interactions I have, the more likely I am to be inspired to consistently play (and develop).

There was a time when I didn't have a playable guitar (I took it apart and three years later put it back together again) - other times when I just havn't played at all.

I remind myself why I originally started - I heard a sound I wanted to make. After that I realized it's healthy for my mind to have that creative outlet, playing basically keeps me sane.

At a certain point of playing there'll be a snowball effect - you'll have enough of a base to learn faster/easier. In my experience it doesn't feel linear. I get a bit down, try to stick to it and then "all of a sudden", there's a light bulb moment ...A slog along the plateau followed with a step/level up in ability. Rinse and repeat.

Keeping stoked? I found being in a band, playing another instrument (in my case, bass), gear (diminishing returns though), recording (challenges/band), musical interactions (watching bands, jamming, hanging out w/muso's) - all helped me keep up a level of enthusiasm or re-kindle my stoke .

E.g. After I left the band in Oct, I floundered for a while, put down the bass and picked up the guitar again, Took a frustrating while to feel comfy again, but I hear my gains from bassing it up

modulator

You started playing for a reason, even if it just "worked out that way", and you were successful. Life gets in the way. But at some later stage, you will play again. If time permits. You should in reality kickstart your own butt, but one requires motivation for that.

I also go through "dead" stages. But I want to play, so I do, even if it is not so structured as to become a vastly better player. Time, motivation, as well as physical condition all play a role. What is good, is that one quickly manages to "skill" back up again.

Jazzman105

On my journey, there's been at least three times when I didn't touch a guitar for more than a year at a time. Life happens. It doesn't mean it's over. :+1_tone2:

Bill-Rosenberg

I've been in exactly the same position as you several times before, and so what you are saying really resonates with me. What got me playing again was that I latched onto the guitar style that really inspires me. What do you enjoy listening to? What music makes you think, Wow! I want to do that. Also, I have acknowledged that I'm not going to be good. I'm not even sure I can call myself a guitarist. Doesn't matter. I'm having fun. I hope that you can find that inspiration. In the meantime, enjoy your family - nothing is more important, and the time goes so fast.

V8

Can you believe it...musicians that all agree :shock-horror-disbelief: ?

Bill-Rosenberg I latched onto the guitar style that really inspires me. What do you enjoy listening to? What music makes you think, Wow! I want to do that

This - still keeps me going. I hear and want to do it.

morph Eventually in the mid 2000's I worked with V8 and he inspired me to pick up a guitar again

For my sins...! , @morph is a handy singer & player to begin with and needed litttle encouragement to serenade the ladies in the office (I couldn't play a entire song back then, but since inspired, I now can) ?

Hasie because I know I will never be as good or have the speed and technique

This is NOT true. It's that 'base' set of skills you are still developing - once you've got a certain level of practice/time invested, things open up and DO become easier. I thought I'd never play a Satriani riff, earlier this year I dedicated month to trying- I can now play two rhythm sections recognizably (not quite to tempo though).

The amount of peeps I've seen start and give up - heish - I'd say the ratio is 1/20 that carry on to some kinda proficiency. Playing guitar isn't easy, but I think it's worth it.

StephenG sometimes the best practice or thing you can do is to just leave the guitars for a while.. then come back to it a month or so later and you will suddenly find you have improved

Agreed, constantly surprises me how this works. But it does. Maybe it takes a bit of time to pop out the rut, so a break is useful?

daveo1977 What I can see from what the others wrote is that that door stays open.

Always - I like chillin w/mates and we pass around a couple guitars and jam while braai'ing/etc...It's a great skill to have. You never know when someone will call on you to play (I got dragged onto stage at a wedding to join the band for a few jimi songs - was a hoot!)

NorioDS @Hasie Like you, I'm a metal-head and, like you, I haven't bothered trying to play it because I know I'll suck. Well that changed with this challenge and I ended up playing a lot of metal-ish riffs. And it was MAD fun!

It was great fun! Pity we weren't able to get together, I really did want to share a few tricks that work - sadly I have zero video production ability (no edits) and making one take tutorials is most frustrating :sadface:

klaasvakie , I just don't beat myself up about it

No 1!

klaasvakie how to chisel out some "me-time" f

No 2. I don't have kids, but if I did, I'd have the same need - and issues getting around to it.

warrenpridgeon The passion for music/guitar exists outside of the actual playing. I know that doesn't really make sense...

I tell myself there's a balance. Creative pursuits require energy, if you are using all your energy on family and work, there's little left for developing one's own pursuits. Personally, I need to spend more time on exercising, a healthier me = more energy. I'm not gonna get the kinda cardio workout I need playing guitar!

Everyone is different in that requirement - I've recently got serious about my diet (zero gluten, avoiding processed sugars) which has had a major effect on my lifestyle. Means I spend more time cooking and less playing, but I've found I have more energy. Less time playing playing, but far more inspired fun.

@Hasie I'm in process of shedding my 3rd musical skin...in 1999 I went overseas of a few years and sold almost all my metal gear (BC Rich Warlock, Marshall Super Lead 100W + 4x12, etc...). I only had a beatup pacifica (in pieces)) and a metal zone stashed away. In 2012 I had a bunch of gear collected over the years, that I never used and had little intention of using again. And last year I also cleared out the stash that somehow grew to ridiculous proportions again.

And I know I'm not the only one...GAS (i think) is a stage of exploration and development as you find something you like, explore it and move on. Perfectly natural!

Everytime I make space in my 'musical life', it gets filled by something new.

The biggest surprise(s) over 27yr of on/off hacking? I'm rather fond of my strat, love playing bass and I really dig playing nylon strings . Never thought I'd say ANY of that when I started off butchering Slayer riffs in the late 80's ?

morph

I went through the same thing, started playing using my brothers guitars at 14 with a mate, with dreams of being in a band. We played a lot until I was 18, when I met my future wife and started work. Work, studies and marriage and later kids got in the way of the band dream. Only bought my first guitar when I was 25. I had a few years of developing fingerstyle then it faded. 10 years later discovered midi, electric guitars, and played actively on my own or with a mate. Did the whole pub gig thing, this ran for a few years then once again work and family got in the way. Eventually in the mid 2000's I worked with V8 and he inspired me to pick up a guitar again. Bought a little Cube amp, and after a slow start I really started actively again in about 2010. Kids are out of the house a long time now. I have been playing actively daily since then. Constantly changing interest, blues, rock, fingerstyle. Resources these days are amazing for self teaching. Thought about finding a group to play with but don't want to spend too much time away from my wife on weekends.

My advise, don't sell anything, guitars never wear out, the only thing that could give you problems with time is electronics, especially caps, although the quality today is far superior to the old days. If you spark the music interest with your kids, it will keep you ticking along. Continue pulling the box out at the braais. When they get older you will find the time again.

Hasie

Thanks guys. It good to know that it is quite normal that it happens. @Bill-Rosenberg you may be correct. I've been playing styles/genres I do not really listen to. I'm a metal head and don't play metal, because I know I will never be as good or have the speed and technique - therefore I was afraid I will ruin my love for metal. I did also like learning technically difficult stuff, like chord melodies, but have struggled to find good resources. I am enjoying the family time currently. I just feel guilty for not playing.

StephenG

sometimes the best practice or thing you can do is to just leave the guitars for a while.. then come back to it a month or so later and you will suddenly find you have improved.

life will always get in the way.. but then lifer will also make gaps again sooner or later.

i have 3 "playing stations" - a guitar, an amp and a simple looper in my study in the house, for when I do get a chance to sit fro 30 minutes or so in front of my computer in the evenings, or by waking up at 6am weekends, giving me 2 hours or so before the family wakes up, then i can noodle while i work on the computer..

i have the more serious setup in my man cave out back of the house, and i go there sometimes when i want to try be a bit more serous about playing on the guitar,.

and then i have a guitar upstairs in the bedroom next to the bed.. when we go to bed and watch some tv, i just reach across and sit up in bed just noodling scales or something without even thinking about it..

hope you find some time to play again.. if not.. we will be watching the classifieds with great interest..

Jazzman105

StephenG hope you find some time to play again.. if not.. we will be watching the classifieds with great interest..

daveo1977

Moed hou, Hasie! You are not alone in this. You took that first step and opened yourself to learning an instrument. What I can see from what the others wrote is that that door stays open.

NorioDS

I can relate to so much that's been said in this thread. I think most of us feel this way at some point or another.

Before the recent "Pointy vs Paddle" duel, I was hardly playing guitar. There's even a video floating around of me struggling to play a scale.

And the worst part?

I was starting to think that guitar wasn't for me. I literally considered selling all my guitars and finding another hobby. No jokes.

But then something comes along and kicks you in the butt. For me it was:

The duel
Seeing Albert Frost (and some other awesome blues guys) live
A few other things

But nothing helped more than the duel. It was GRUELLING and I'm certain I lost the duel but I won something more valuable than that: I'm back in a playing groove and I'm LOVING it again.

@Hasie Like you, I'm a metal-head and, like you, I haven't bothered trying to play it because I know I'll suck. Well that changed with this challenge and I ended up playing a lot of metal-ish riffs. And it was MAD fun!

Look the lead still kicked my ass six ways from Sunday but the rhythm was tons of fun.

So that's what I'd recommend and others have said the same thing in other ways: Find what inspires you. If it's metal, pick up a bass guitar or learn some rhythm and just go for it. Learn the rhythm for one song, from beginning to end. And if there's a particularly hard part? Leave it out! Who cares?! You'll have so much fun playing the rest that it won't matter.

I hope something "clicks" for you again as it's done for all of us at one point or another. Good luck and keep posting here if you struggle. We'll do what we can to help ?

Hasie

NorioDS Thanks man. I love all this feedback and advice.

warrenpridgeon

The passion for music/guitar exists outside of the actual playing. I know that doesn't really make sense... but herewith the story to the statement above:

I've been playing guitar for about 10 to 15 years now... Not even 100% sure anymore.

I only started playing because of church. I've played in youth bands and churches and events at churches.
Along my journey (Don't stop believin') I've had times where I've wanted to throw in the towel... Like when I meet someone who has been playing for a year and they are FAAAAR superior to me in terms of guitar playing, musicality etc.

I have spent at least the last 3 years feeling "stunted" in my musical growth due to playing only in the church environment where most of the music is pretty simple and doesn't require a lot of learning new techniques. I look at my gear and think "maybe it's time to pack it in since I'm not 'amazing' and not really progressing". I've been self employed for like 18 months, with having run a business on the sidelines for a couple of years before that. Time has been at a premium cost for me for many of the last few years... so time to "learn" new things has been VERY limited. Resulting in only really learning stuff I need for playing in the church environment.

But I've continued playing... Weekly church band practices and church services have meant a LOT of playing for me (compared to bedroom warriors).

Has playing a lot helped keep the passion going? Not really... Because it is a little like a "job" when you are committed to an organisation that you serve musically. The passion has come and gone even through times of playing a lot. Sometimes I'm really amped to pick up my guitar and play... other times it's more of a "meh" thing.

So I think the passion has to exist outside of the playing and it should flow through into the playing.

I do however think that committing to something like a church band or band band or something like that HELPS carry you through the dry spells.

Tuckstir

V8 I tell myself there's a balance. Creative pursuits require energy, if you are using all your energy on family and work, there's little left for developing one's own pursuits. Personally, I need to spend more time on exercising, a healthier me = more energy. I'm not gonna get the kinda cardio workout I need playing guitar!

Everyone is different in that requirement - I've recently got serious about my diet (zero gluten, avoiding processed sugars) which has had a major effect on my lifestyle. Means I spend more time cooking and less playing, but I've found I have more energy. Less time playing playing, but far more inspired fun.

V8.. soooooo much good things in your post..

but must agree on Diet the most, a decent diet be It LCHF or LFHC or vegan etc.. cut the sugar and processed food, and your life becomes a Vastly different, take care of your mind and body, and your soul (passions) find wings.

and find balance in your life between, job, social life, and hobbies, and have several ( for me my Main hobbies at the moment are cycling, guitars ,pc's, and reading, in no particular order,and a try spending a little time between them all, it helps me not been in a rut on one or the other).. and don't make your hobby a job.. surest way to kill the passion,

try not to play in a vacuum, get a sexy short music teacher (like me), or play in a band, play stuff you like, and stuff that pushes your boundaries. and for those with kids, play with them.. get rocksmith and a second cable.. etc.

there are so many ways to keep playing, and to make time for playing, I think most of the time.. when we say we don't have time, we forget about those hours we spent watching our favourite Tv series on the couch doing nothing else.....

and I'm no great guitar player.. I suck.. but I know myself and i know how I like procrastinating.. and i think alot of us do just that..but the last year and a half of me taking charge of my health has taught me, there is no day like today to start, you have to be disciplined, and consistent or you will fail, and try to keep those cheat days to a minimum.. they will happen, life happens, man up own your faults, work on them, and realize when you are in a rut, and try something new, a different approach..

Hope my ramblings make sense, and you can take away something,

wern101

Jislaaik okes. Too true all of this. @Hasie much has been said and I don't plan on repeating anyone on purpose. My journey with the axe has been up and down. Short version - Got a guitar for my 18th Birthday. 'Borrowed' by a friend a year later, never saw it again. 2 years of no playing. Got one again for my 21st. Hardly played. Upgraded it later years and played 'slightly' more. Got involved in church band 7 years later and played for 7 years. After I left the church 'band' scene I was a bit stuck with nothing to play, no one to play with and wondering what next. For just over a year I hardly played. I joined this year awesome forum in Oct '15 and got started again - I was very motivated by everyone and felt completely inferior to everyone. I was dead scared of posting the first entry on the forum compo, but glad I did. The feedback from other members kept me going.

I also realised that I enjoy song writing a lot. My recording quality is CRAP, my gear (compared to a lot of others') is very weak and I have almost zero chops, BUT - I have found that I love to create. Trying to emulate some dude's song is cool and all, but I get more value out of what I come up with. So what if it stinks. It's mine!

2017 I hardly played again, and this year has been a challenge. I have to literally remove the dust from my guitars when I pick them up, and then I play the same stupid noodling sounds over and over again, no progression, and no regression. Just 'as is' for a few months. Frustrating yes, but probably necessary at this point.

Don't be to hard on yourself. You don't have to justify owning a guitar by playing it all the time. Enjoy the time with your family, it goes by too fast. The guitar will always be there.

guidothepimmp

I was in the space. Sometimes go months without touching a fiddle.. but then it comes back and i will sit everynight. What really helps me is jamming along to my favourite tunes. So portability became very important. Particularly with a toddler i the house.

Youre in PTA right? Jam mates help too. Even if its talking shit over a beer. Cool to just plug in and make a bit of noise.

For the PTA folks.. we really should have a meet n jam.

Btw.. im a metal head too.. but really enjoy playing blues rock type stuff now.. cant even tell you why... i think it pulled me out of my rut..

Hasie

guidothepimmp Thanks man. We should try and do a PTA jam. Even if there's more beer and shit talking than jamming. Maybe once a month. Use the netball or rugby field at a school - a place to use your full stack if you have one.

Having a baby in the house means playing with headphones or a small amp at very low volumes, which is just not the same as having a loud amp in the room - loud headphones does not have the same effect. This is just something to accept as it is and move on.

I've actually never tried playing my favourite bands' songs. I can do some chord melody stuff and blues, but don't really listen to those genres.

Many of the forum okes suggested playing the music I like. I think it's time to try and learn the songs from the album that really got me "lus" for starting out. It would mean buying a 7-string, but maybe that's just what I need to do.

V8

Hasie Maybe once a month. Use the netball or rugby field at a school - a place to use your full stack if you have one.

Must a a rehearsal studio around there somewhere? No clean-up, peeps can arrive/leave when they want, etc...I like the idea, might even do something Cpt side (though Capetonians never pitch up ? )

Hasie I think it's time to try and learn the songs from the album that really got me "lus" for starting out. It would mean buying a 7-string, but maybe that's just what I need to do.

Doooooooo it! A few options spring to mind - Re-string one of your 6's with a heavier set - I did this last year, was a lot of fun! Went for a B low string and just left off the high e (since I'd hardly use it for nu-metal/djent grooves).

Otherwise the Ibby Gio range has a really decent and cheap 7. And there was a guy selling new Schechter's for R4500 - sure he's still got a few 7's.

When you get back into - feel free to poke me for a brief skype, I've some skill at the right hand/left hand percussive muting thing you'll want to get down for the rhythm bits.