The Paul Bothner sponsored August Challenge - Category 2 [VOTE]

FruitarGeek

Here is the "Intermediate" group [b][Category 2][/b]. One vote each.

Try be tactful when commenting if you have submitted a track, you welcome to 'crit' your track as if you are an objective 3rd party to throw off the scent of the others Just try to the best of your ability to not give away too much.

[img width=600 height=200]http://guitarforum.co.za/gfsacomps/mp3s/GFSAAUG.jpg[/img]

[b]Edge [/b]"Tracks to nowhere" Picture C http://guitarforum.co.za/gfsacomps/mp3s/Edge.mp3

[b]Reid [/b]"All Aboard" Picture C http://guitarforum.co.za/gfsacomps/mp3s/Reid.mp3

[i]It’s start with a guitar dissonant Horn sound .The last call for everyone to go onboard. Then the train sets of . It’s quite a long journey , so the train has to run fast. Throughout the ride it has too slow down a couple of times , and then it continues on full speed . Outside your window you can see many things happen. At the end before the train is riding into the station it has to slowdown .When the train has stopped you hear the horn again to let the passengers know that this is the end of the ride[/i]

[b]Thompson [/b]"Low Highs" Picture C http://guitarforum.co.za/gfsacomps/mp3s/Thompson.mp3

*Not everyone told me which picture they are placing their song too, so I took an educated guess. If I am wrong, send me a PM and I'll rectify it.

(old forum) Poll Results: Please Vote

Edge: 1
Reid: 3
Thompson: 8

doc-phil

Strange how everyone picked picture C here, and nobody did in category 3. I know this is a guitar competition, but I can't help myself from commenting on the mix/arrangement as well.

Edge:

Thoroughly enjoyed this piece, everything tied in together nicely for a coherent, easy listen. One thing I would have suggested is to change up the drums a bit every so often, perhaps with a crash hit here and there and to transition from ride to crash or open hi-hat from verse to chorus. The solo at the end suited the track nicely, but was too late in the composition.

This entry was twice as long as it should have been for the comp. Don't forget the 2 minute limit (I try and get my main idea or theme in within the first minute, and for the track to end around 1:30).

Reid:

I like what you did with the guitars in relating it to train sounds. Honestly this sounded like an 80s video game soundtrack, all it needed was to be in 8 bit! Perhaps add some variation to the velocity hits of the programmed parts? Also I would have liked the kick to be a lot more prominent in the mix. Were the guitars programmed as well? Some parts sounded a tad unnatural to my ear.

You did say it was quite a long journey, but the entry clocks in at over 4 minutes. Listeners get bored quickly, particularly in instrumental compositions, so try to aim to get your entry between 1.5 and 2 minutes, and avoid repetition of verses.

For these comps I like to generally stick to the formula of intro (0:00 - 0:15) - verse (0:16 - 0:45) - main theme (0:46 - 1:25) - breakdown/outro (1:26 - 1:40). Obviously this is a general guideline.

Thompson:

Loved the ambient feel here. Interesting guitar tones and percussion sounds. The solo was appropriate and complimented the overall feel of the track. You stuck within the prescribed time limit, and by fitting a whole bunch of variation and ideas within a piece that still sounded like a single concept, you are definitely a front runner in this comp.

This was a tough choice, as always, but for me Thompson is the deserving winner here. Good job to all entrants.

FruitarGeek

Edge - Ok, straight off the bat, a bit too long, but I think you knew this already, so not going to dwell on that. Aside from that, it was an excellent piece. It sat very comfortable within the genre, and anybody (such as myself) who is interested in that style, would like your entry. The drum samples sounded good, as did the guitar tones. It was convincing. There were perhaps a few stylistic things that I would have changed for example, at the 40second mark, I feel you could have made a much bigger entry with your distortion guitar. IF I could equate this to the red carpet, its as if you building up to the moment, the paparazzi are all tacking pictures, and fans screaming, you looking sharp, but then you just stumble over the carpet. You don't fall, but it wasn't too graceful haha. I loved the clean dynamics. Good job.

Reid - I loved how you capture our attention with the train horn effect - it sounded quite genuine. I also like how you bought it back soon after in context with the song. I agree with doc-phil, that a lot of the track didn't sound real. We usually forgive use of samples for drums, keys, vocals i.e. anything but guitar hahaha. All this demonstrates is how well you can compose, but now how well you can play. So for the next entry, try play a bit more - I know its not the easiest of things to get into, but you clearly have a gift for writing songs, so it would be a waste to not invest into it. I loved how the song progressed though, I really felt like I was on a journey, an 8bit journey haha, but a journey none the less. Great writing

Thompson - Very gloomy. I like, I like a lot. It makes me think of an abandoned train station in Walking dead or something. I like your use of the drum samples, and the reverb - you mixed that in very well. The subtle guitar licks in the background gave the song much needed momentum without being forceful. I don't really have any crits about this song, it was a good length, and I see how you could relate it to Picture C. I guess if I have to say something constructive, it would be that I'd like to see how the song could have progressed into something with more energy, it stayed at the same energy throughout, but again, its not a bad thing.

Mixerboy

Thompson: Really liked this track, reminded me of No Quarter from Led Zep for some reason. Fits Pic C quite well.

Reid: The train effect in the beginning was pretty clever, I agree it sounds like video game music, which isn't a bad thing at all, it's definitely different in a good way.

Edge: I agree the drums get a bit loopy/monotonous sounding, still has that "country" rock twang to it so it fits pic C quite nicely, like the music you might expect from History Channels new "Trainyard Wreckers" or something.

V8

Great entries! Congratz to Thomson :goodtimes:

Adiran's and Doc Phil's comments echo my own sentiments, especially on length, arrangement & mixing.

A most honorable mention to Reid for the horn effect, harmonized guitars and the journey feeling. - edited down to around 2mins and I think it would have been a verrryyy close vote?

doc-phil

Well done everyone. Good show.

FruitarGeek

The entrants are:

Edge = Wormwood
Reid = Sef
Thompson = jt

Well done jt on winning, send me the relevant details:

Name
Email
ID No
Closest PB Branch

Sef, if you can PM the next possible theme, that would be great.