Heath
(10:48:52) Lawrence: Alan doesnt tune guitars...he just looks at them and they tune themselves!!!(10:51:06) CornFlakes: chuck norris has a tatoo on his arm of Alan
(10:52:25) Lawrence: If Alan wrote down all his guitar knowledge it would be bigger than wikipedia
(10:52:46) Lawrence: Les Paul is afraid of Alan
(10:53:18) Lawrence: Alan doesnt take apart guitars..they see him and disassemble themselves
(10:53:18) CornFlakes: alan uses his hair for strings
(10:55:02) Tailon: alan doesnt write music , he just stares at the paper and the note assemble themself
(10:56:07) Tailon: alan can divide by zero
(10:57:13) Tauriq: Alan does not sleep.. He waits....
(10:57:22) Lawrence: Alan CAN tuna fish!!!
(10:58:36) Tailon: alan can touch mc hammer
(10:58:38) Lawrence: Alan doesnt play softer everyone else just gets quieter
(10:59:51) Tailon: alan can slam a revolving door
(11:00:13) Tauriq: Alan is the reason why waldo is hiding.
(11:00:56) Tauriq: Alan can play 5 guitar parts at once. One with each finger.
(11:03:22) Lawrence: the force is afarid of Alan!
(11:03:31) Tauriq: Alan can play a world tour in five minutes.
(11:03:45) Tailon: alan can play all songs in one chord
(11:04:36) CornFlakes: alan doesnt need pick ups, he gets people to pickup for him
(11:04:40) Tailon: alan plays so fast his guitar neck had to be made out of tituam alloy
(11:05:51) Tauriq: When Alan plays air guitar sound comes out.
(11:06:22) Tailon: The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets alan
(11:08:54) Tailon: We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from alan
(11:09:43) Lawrence: Science is wrong...Alan is actually the center of the universe!
Heath
(11:14:51) Lawrence: Alan wanted a guitar forum...so he wrote the internet....
(11:16:13) Lawrence: chatbot wouldnt let Alan into the chatroom so he punched the internet!!
(11:16:53) Lawrence: Alanm doesnt carry his guitar....it carries itself..
(11:17:34) Tauriq: If Alan has R5000 and you have R5000 Alan has more GAS money than you ?
LMinnie
The chatroom cannot contain that which is Alan!
LMinnie
(11:27:12) Tauriq: Alan can asked for a Big Mac at Burger King and he got it.
(11:28:54) Tauriq: Alan is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
Heath
Alans pulse is measured in beats per minute
LMinnie
(11:30:59) Lawrence: Alan doesnt need an amplifier!
(11:30:59) WantzChas: In an epic battle between Chuck Norris, Vernon Koekemoer, Batman and Mick Jagger... Alan will win
LMinnie
(11:31:14) CornFlakes: alan doesnt keep time, time keeps alan
(11:32:10) Tauriq: If at first you don't succeed, you're not Alan.
Heath
alan go a 100% on his music exams by simply answering everything with Alan Ratcliffe
LMinnie
(11:33:39) Tauriq: Alan is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
(11:34:34) Tauriq: Haha there is no global warming Alan got cold and turned the sun up.
LMinnie
(11:35:47) Tauriq: When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Alan.
(11:36:07) CornFlakes: what is the best song ever?
(11:36:31) Tauriq: No idea
(11:36:43) Tailon: ask alan
(11:36:51) Lawrence: Alan hasnt written it yet!
(11:36:52) CornFlakes: everthing by Alan Ratcliffe
AlanRatcliffe
Oh dear...
And they're off...
MikeM
Alan fears not Kryptonite! Only Mr Min!
LMinnie
(11:37:26) CornFlakes: how do u make alan blink
(11:38:03) CornFlakes: ask him about Mr.Min
Squonk
Can Alan defend himself against fresh fruit?
LMinnie
(11:44:10) Tailon: alan can play any note he wants and still sound good
(11:44:46) Tailon: alan is the only person who can play a b# and a e#
(11:45:32) Lawrence: at the same time...
Heath
(11:44:10) Tailon: alan can play any note he wants and still sound good
(11:44:46) Tailon: alan is the only person who can play a b# and a e#
(11:45:32) Lawrence: at the same time...
LMinnie
(11:48:30) Fritz_Brand: The orginal was called Stairway to Alan
(11:50:14) Tailon: whan alan looks in the mirror he sees nothing , there can only be one alan
(11:52:16) Tailon: alan is allowed to talk about fight club
(11:54:34) Tailon: alan can clap with one hand
Heath
(11:53:10) MikeM: The fountain of youth was discovered... In Alan's toilet
(11:54:34) Tailon: alan can clap with one hand
(11:55:00) CornFlakes: alan's pee is well known as redbull today
(11:55:19) Fritz_Brand: When Jimi Hendrix said "Scuse me while I kiss this guy" he was talking about Alan ?
LMinnie
(12:02:48) MikeM: The only things that Alan can't fix is his hair and chatbot ?
Heath
(11:59:50) Tailon: alan invented all 32 notes of the scale
(12:00:21) MikeM: Alan can sing beyond high G
(12:00:47) Lawrence: Alan can play notes only dogs can hear..
(12:01:20) MikeM: Alan can play notes without touching the strings
(12:01:56) Tailon: alan doesn't play his guitar the strings shiver out of fear
