evolucian
This occurs over two days being friday and monday. That equals weekend.
On friday my boss says to me my teaching system is terrible and my teaching is even worse... was I supposed to take that happily? Naturally, of course, this sets the tone for the weekend. I mean, I worked hard on my system, and taught with it successfully for ten years... or more... I'm old... memory fades on how long i've used it. But regardless, not one complaint from my system.
Today, I get called in for a meeting at 6:30pm... to which the boss is late and rocks up at 7. Whoopdedoo... Then the fun begins. I get ripped a new bum cos I have not been teaching her system and i don't let the kids sing with the disc she supplies with her system, and that I dont sing with them. From this you can gather what her system is all about. Lyric sheet with chord symbols on top of it. Sing and play... two skill sets in one... I only supply one. The backbone. To me thats better. If they wanna sing, they can do that at home, Play the chords and rhythm correctly for me and you are well on your way to being a... uhm... "guitarist". And kids are leaving because "I" am not teaching in this way. Hmmm... lets ponder this...
I know kids want to sing and play Mull of Kintyre... they know who Paul McCartney is and they have his signed "Wings" posters in their bedrooms. I just know this. I know, it's a gift. 7 and 8 year olds love singing "Joyride" to just a lone guitar and vocals that are weak and warbly (her disc version) cos they know who Roxette is... and love the gappy grin. They also know who Billy Joel is and from day one want to sing and play Uptown Girl. A collection of 40 songs... no artist or copyright info either... of stuff that none of the kids want to play. I know this because they told me so... and the parents begged me wif sweet tears in their sweet eyes... "Do we really have to listen to that cd?"
Fact 1: kids on my system havent left... at all.. and are still looking forward to playing the 16 songs promised to them on the disc.
Fact 2: kids not on my system are leaving... and some for legitimate excuses... like choosing rugby over guitar. Of course, I get blamed for them leaving cos if they were "singing with the disc, they wouldn't be giving such flimsy excuses" ... true story, happened about 9 hours ago as he chose 1st team rugby over guitar... his mom gave him the choice. He even told me its nothing personal, rugby is his dream and guitar isn't. Now how's that for honesty from a lil 12 year old kid?
So in the meeting, whie I'm pondering if they make underwear that caters for two rings... she begins asking me questions. Thats rather rude considering I was in mid thought. Now my naural form of speech patterns includes sailor language, and people know this from the first ten seconds they have met me. Nothing new there. I replied to something that had the begining of a drunken slur... or politely called the word "shit"... at which point I was promptly asked to vacate the premises for using such foul language in her house. Naturally I remained seated as I thought Ashton Kutcher was about to come from around the corner and scream "You've been punk'd" as soon as I maybe left the door. Blank stares for a few seconds... followed by...
Boss: You don't use that language in my house... and you definitely don't use it in the presence of a lady"
at which point i still had this blank stare but it may have mutated into one of disbelief...
Boss: Yes! I'm a lady... do you have a problem with that?"
Peter: Yes I do in fact... a "lady" would not have insulted me the way you did on friday... let alone belittle her staf... "
Notice those three little dots? Thats all I got in... she managed to pull a wonderwoman and make my statement disappear quicker than a klingon ship cloaks itself. Anyway, she rattled on relentlessly... I think I may have switched off and looked at the design of her curtains... i think they were red... but before i could distinguish the colour in my colourblind state, her banshee voice pierced my ears again.
Boss: "I am quite undecided at the moment. I want to fire you right now, but then i can't cos I cant replace you with anyone yet." ..... .... ... ... ... (poker face stare from my side.. almost in cow face mode as I'm chewing my gum in a more relaxed manner. I feel it gets extra blackcurrant flavour this way) ... ... ... "Well aren't you gonna say anything?"
Peter: Yes... have you decided yet?
***************************************
So not fired yet, but with plenty of threats thrown around on friday and today... my fate there is sealed tighter than a ducks pooper in water. My question to you is... Was I wrong in any way? In my mind, I saved her students by using my system. Those that weren't on it left. And not to mention they were lazy as hell with rich parents who didnt wanna buy their kid a nylon... instead, let them become men wif hairy boobies as they struggle so nicely on steel strings on ultra cheap guitars. <==== that equates to slide guitar setups... for those not in the kno... oh... i forgot where i was typing my rant for a moment...
Any thoughts?
Sean
Other than point out the obvious to her? That your students are not leaving?
BTW, if you get fired, you could always consider a career as a writer ?
evolucian
I tried to point out that none of those on my system are leaving... but it didn't phase her.. hmmm... consider this one...
I am also not allowed to give the students the choice of playing in the music school concert... and neither am I allowed to give them a choice in playing at the eisteddfod... I have to say to them :You are playing! (the eisteddfod is a huge thing with players from all over the world...most often classical players... now I have to tell them they are playing in it... oh, what song are you busy with... Lightning Crashes... yep.. thats what you are gonna be playing there!" The only student I am entering is one who composes his own classical pieces... thats rather fair don't you think?
And... what happens to students/kids when forced to do something they feel they are not ready for? hmmm...
Lol, and thanks dude... I may just have to become a writer... it sorta pays as much as unemployment right now, hehehe
Bob-Dubery
Your boss isn't very savvy on labour law and she's building a case against herself.
How long have you been with this company and is it full time employment?
If you qualify as a permanent employee (by law, not by what she says) she certainly can't fire you without a properly convened hearing at which a charge, in terms of the company's policies, is to be formally put to you, for which you receive advance notice, at which you may have representation and at which she may not play judge and prosecution. Oh... and you must have been formally appraised of the company's policies in advance of the alleged offence so that you know what a firing offence is. She can't make them up as she goes along.
You could contact the CCMA and explain the situation to them and seek advice. However those wheels turn slowly and they won't intervene unless an unfair dismissal has taken place.
If you can find a lawyer who works on the basis of a percentage of the settlement amount you could have some fun here. Alternatively you can join a union like Solidarity (though they may not take you on with things as prejudicial as they are right now) and they would fight the case for you.
Remember that in terms of labour law you cannot sue for damages, you sue to get the job back.
PeteM
Stuff her... go on your own.
guitarboy2828
X-rated Bob wrote
Your boss isn't very savvy on labour law and she's building a case against herself.
How long have you been with this company and is it full time employment?
If you qualify as a permanent employee (by law, not by what she says) she certainly can't fire you without a properly convened hearing at which a charge, in terms of the company's policies, is to be formally put to you, for which you receive advance notice, at which you may have representation and at which she may not play judge and prosecution. Oh... and you must have been formally appraised of the company's policies in advance of the alleged offence so that you know what a firing offence is. She can't make them up as she goes along.
You could contact the CCMA and explain the situation to them and seek advice. However those wheels turn slowly and they won't intervene unless an unfair dismissal has taken place.
If you can find a lawyer who works on the basis of a percentage of the settlement amount you could have some fun here. Alternatively you can join a union like Solidarity (though they may not take you on with things as prejudicial as they are right now) and they would fight the case for you.
Remember that in terms of labour law you cannot sue for damages, you sue to get the job back.
This is why we keep Bob around! ?
PeteM wrote
Stuff her... go on your own.
Godda agree with Pete on this one. Are you teaching at a school, and doing music lessons? Or is it a music school? Surely that can't be a full time thing? Start cramming in afternoon guitar lessons, your skill level is definitely advanced enough to do it!
Bob-Dubery
Paul E wrote
X-rated Bob wrote
Your boss isn't very savvy on labour law and she's building a case against herself.
How long have you been with this company and is it full time employment?
If you qualify as a permanent employee (by law, not by what she says) she certainly can't fire you without a properly convened hearing at which a charge, in terms of the company's policies, is to be formally put to you, for which you receive advance notice, at which you may have representation and at which she may not play judge and prosecution. Oh... and you must have been formally appraised of the company's policies in advance of the alleged offence so that you know what a firing offence is. She can't make them up as she goes along.
You could contact the CCMA and explain the situation to them and seek advice. However those wheels turn slowly and they won't intervene unless an unfair dismissal has taken place.
If you can find a lawyer who works on the basis of a percentage of the settlement amount you could have some fun here. Alternatively you can join a union like Solidarity (though they may not take you on with things as prejudicial as they are right now) and they would fight the case for you.
Remember that in terms of labour law you cannot sue for damages, you sue to get the job back.
This is why we keep Bob around! ?
Look, I'm no labour law expert, but there are processes and laws in place to prevent arbitrary dismissals, and if you're employed - or an employer - you should understand the broad strokes. It is not impossible to dismiss an employee (I know, I've had to do it), but there are processes in place to ensure that it's done fairly and with the employee being giving a fair chance to rectify problems that are related to performance (things like theft or assaulting a colleague are a different matter entirely)
inflames
That is a load of bull! Don't think you did anything wrong, in fact I applaud you for staying so calm.
Jip, bob is correct, you have legal rights.
Good luck with the battle ahead!
Wizard
My 2c.
Been in this type of situation too often (in Corporate world, not music).
It's a clash of methodology and belief systems.
She has designed a system ... feels it is her brand ... and wants you (as her employee) to do it her way.
You think you can do better and want to do it your way.
(and ja, from the sounds of it, I'd also prefer your way)
Clash.
She is threatened by you ignoring / overriding it ... and is using every political trick in the book to kak you out ... but largely avoiding the real reason for her annoyance / insecurity.
i.e. kids are leaving because of your system
i.e. you must be a bad person because of your language
i.e. you don't treat her like a lady
i.e. I'm so important I have the power to terminate your income at the click of a finger.
i.e. ...
If she more were secure she would say:
Hi Peter ... I employed you to teach my method; not yours.
And you're not.
I'm more than happy for us to spend separate time together for you to try and demonstrate / convince me why I should be upgrading my method. But until then, you need to follow the script
I do think you're a brilliant musician and would be interested in your views - when can we get together to discuss?
Don't hold your breath though.
I've been in this situation a zillion times at work (not guitar) ... and have won some and lost some.
But ...
You don't want to be "right" ... and unemployed.
You don't want to be employed and hating your job.
You have to box clever.
My naughty mind would design a little student review process.
You interview your students from time to time and get them to commit to paper what their experience of the lessons are.
I'd also include an exit form that allowed the students to explain exactly why they were leaving.
Always tricky to argue with facts.
Final rule - the person who loses their temper or cool, loses.
All the perfect logic in the world is undone when a person can say "look how rude he is!"
Ray
All of the above could be right. But I have this to say if I may. We are a strange species. We're all different and we're all the same. One way that we're the same is that we react to external pressures. Different in that we react in different ways. So, maybe this chic has some sort of pressure that caused her to do and say what she did. We have interactions with people so many times where we walk away and say wtf eff you! and we dont know what the heck it was all about anyway. We confront, try and bash down. If we succeed we feel that it is victory. It is. But such a short one really. And chances are you've got an enemy. If we fail, then we feel badly done by and bear a grudge and it eats you and makes a little part inside you go vrot. My suggestion would be to take a conciliatory approach to this. Reading the original post there are so many signals that provide clues as to how to approach the situation. So, I think that to give her a kick in the crotch and bugger off is like the absolutely wrong thing to do.
Maybe ol' Steve Covey has a point when he say: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood". (or something like that.)
Maybe this is all invalid or inappropriate. But I've taken the aggressive stance and come second in my life too many times to think that it is. Whatever gratification you get out of it will be so short and shallow it's just not worth it.
Wizard
Ray wrote
All of the above could be right. But I have this to say if I may. We are a strange species. We're all different and we're all the same. One way that we're the same is that we react to external pressures. Different in that we react in different ways. So, maybe this chic has some sort of pressure that caused her to do and say what she did. We have interactions with people so many times where we walk away and say wtf eff you! and we dont know what the heck it was all about anyway. We confront, try and bash down. If we succeed we feel that it is victory. It is. But such a short one really. And chances are you've got an enemy. If we fail, then we feel badly done by and bear a grudge and it eats you and makes a little part inside you go vrot. My suggestion would be to take a conciliatory approach to this. Reading the original post there are so many signals that provide clues as to how to approach the situation. So, I think that to give her a kick in the crotch and bugger off is like the absolutely wrong thing to do.
Maybe ol' Steve Covey has a point when he say: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood". (or something like that.)
Maybe this is all invalid or inappropriate. But I've taken the aggressive stance and come second in my life too many times to think that it is. Whatever gratification you get out of it will be so short and shallow it's just not worth it.
+1
Can't argue with Ray on this one.
evolucian
I agree with everyone... and thanks Bob for the legal advice route. I will consider this, but at the same time I am also pondering leaving. A lot of the students parents are not happy with how she goes about things and rally with me. Pitch forks sound like they are on the way.
I don't really want to leave, but its now uncomfortable and yeah, I agree with wizard cos i see her train of thought... yet I am not the only teacher to have said to her that the kids dont wanna do her thing.
I also agree with Ray and I was trying to see her point and didnt pull a blind eye once the insults and threats started being thrown around.
I know she is my boss, and I understood her side. I also realise I am being used as the scapegoat here, and from her viewpoint, rightly so. But that is still no way to treat a staff member, let alone a human being.
I shall bow out gracefully... going to print flyers in this week. I know some of the kids are going to want to come with me too, but I have no control over that and can't say no to them. Some might think its unethical, and there may be legal repercussions cos of that... But in my mind its better learning something you want to learn than being forced into something you don't.
Still, the only thing calming me down is the thought that calmed me down on the weekend. On our life path we are bound to meet a lot of people... and some of those people are evil. And its really not a bad thing meeting these evil people, because you learn from them what not to land up as.
Bob-Dubery
inflames wrote
That is a load of bull! Don't think you did anything wrong, in fact I applaud you for staying so calm.
Jip, bob is correct, you have legal rights.
Both parties have legal rights. Generally the employer is in a position of strength and has greater resources at their disposal so labour law leans in the direction of the employee - but don't imagine that the employer has no rights and may not have expectations of the employee.
And I draw your attention to excellent, sensible postings from Ray and Wizard. You can be morally right but still lose out.
About three years ago I was in a position where I was one of a small group of people threatened with unfair dismissal. There had been no disciplinary hearings at all, and the executive who made this threat - via email - acted extremely improperly. There was an email saying, in not many more words "If I get any more reports of [whatever it was] then I will dismiss the guilty parties with no further hearings or warnings." Totally illegal and improper. I reported the matter to the CCMA who asked for a copy of the email but said that for the time being they would just file it because there was no dismissal yet.
I have a friend who is a labour lawyer and I asked his advice. He said that the executive concerned had prejudiced his case very fundamentally and in fact had acted with a high degree of stupidity. If push came to shove and I was shown the door then I would have an unbeatable case, but I would also be unemployed until the matter was settled. At which point - assuming they didn't offer an out of court settlement so that I would just go away - I would return to the job with salary back paid but also with bills to pay and with an executive who would have lost face, be full of resentment and would be watching my every move. So not exactly a win.
We should all be clued up about ours and the other party's legal rights, but generally it's better all round if things don't get to that point.
singemonkey
It's extraordinary how people believe in some common-sense American TV labour rules that don't exist. There's a very long process involved in getting rid of anyone who qualifies as a permanent employee.
Giving the game away for me is the "lady," comment. To say that your language was unprofessional was fair enough. But to argue that it's ok for men and not ok for women says that she's not apprising the situation professionally. Quite possibly (speculating here) she just doesn't like you because you're not the right kind of person (cut your hair and wear a jersey to work, take up stamp-collecting, and her attitude may improve ? ).
It's important to know your rights and get what's coming to you no matter which route you take. Leaving because of the pressure may just force you to take a financial hit for something that's not your problem. Check with any source of labour advice and figure out where you stand - whether you're leaving or not. If she can't fire you (which I'm guessing she can't without paying you out extensively) you can announce to your students in advance that you're leaving and will be starting your own thing. You can at least begin looking for students as you play out the end of your employment.
Jack-Flash-Jr
All excellent advice. I have to +1 Ray though, aggression very rarely pays off... it's difficult to suppress feelings of hurt etc. but it'll definitely pay off in the longer run. Is there another staff member who is a good mediator that might be able to help/shed some light?
evolucian
Jack Flash Jr wrote
Is there another staff member who is a good mediator that might be able to help/shed some light?
Unfortunately not... they are sheep. I say good for them, its less troublesome than having a conscience and speaking your mind. I sometimes wish I were one of them sheep magafters... but I landed up not being one and have to live with it i guess. Although they do share the resentment and unfair ways... they remain silent on the matter when it comes to confronting it. Ah well...
They also seem content with the fact she doesn't supply tea or coffee, let alone a section to actually make it either. Now in my mind, that is just plain rude and violates the moral ethics when you don't supply muso's with their caffeine fix... a kettle would do... even if i have to bring my own cup... and coffee... and sugar...
IceCreamMan
Not a nice situation to be in .... Bob pretty much nailed it however i need to add my 2 cents
1. dont swear again (even if its your character etc etc ) just dont do it ....this gives them ammo
2. keep calm .. state yr case calmly an remove emotion out of it (yeah i know aint easy but i seen so many cases go pear shaped cos emotions got the better of ppl)
good luck ..
as pete says ... go out on yr own ...if you can
PeteM
Quote
Boss: "I am quite undecided at the moment. I want to fire you right now, but then i can't cos I cant replace you with anyone yet."
I understand what Ray was saying... but this quote is the crux of my response to you. She's already made up her mind and is only holding on to you for her personal gain. That's why I say, start making plans now... set yourself up and go it alone. It's not easy but, hey, what alternative do you have considering her intentions?
Jack-Flash-Jr
evolucian wrote
Jack Flash Jr wrote
Is there another staff member who is a good mediator that might be able to help/shed some light?
Unfortunately not... they are sheep. I say good for them, its less troublesome than having a conscience and speaking your mind. I sometimes wish I were one of them sheep magafters... but I landed up not being one and have to live with it i guess. Although they do share the resentment and unfair ways... they remain silent on the matter when it comes to confronting it. Ah well...
They also seem content with the fact she doesn't supply tea or coffee, let alone a section to actually make it either. Now in my mind, that is just plain rude and violates the moral ethics when you don't supply muso's with their caffeine fix... a kettle would do... even if i have to bring my own cup... and coffee... and sugar...
NO TEA!?!?!?!?!? >☹
It's kneecappin' time!
On a serious note though, this sounds like you should be looking around
anyway since it's an unpleasant workspace run by a method and beverage nazi.
evolucian
Yeah Pete, that one kept me up till 3 this morning... and I came to the same conclusions. And I realised that in the meeting as well, hence my response. I am all for being used and stuff... but it has to be by a good looking woman and the usage is in a different context altogether.
I shall be going it alone then... (theme song to "The littlest hobo" starts playing... followed by Adagio in G minor by Albinoni)
