The best drummer jokes ever

arjunmenon · 2008-08-21T13:38:06+00:00

How do you tell if the stage is level? The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up. What's the last thing a drummer says in a band? "Hey, how about we try one of my songs?" An Indian chief and a cavalry captain climb to the top of a tall hill and look out upon the entire Indian tribe. The captain says worriedly, "I don't like the sound of those drums." The chief says, "I know. It's not our regular drummer." What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless. What do Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart could've done it. An amateur drummer died and went to heaven. He was waiting outside the pearly gates when he heard the most incredible fast and furious drumming coming from within. Immediately he recognized the playing and rushed to ask St. Peter if that was Buddy Rich playing drums inside the gates. St. Peter responded: "No, that's God. He just thinks he's Buddy Rich." How do you get a drummer off of your porch? Pay him 10 bucks for the pizza. Why didn't the Little Drummer Boy get into heaven? Because he woke up the baby, for Christ's sake! What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted. What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality. What do you say to a drummer in a three-piece suit? "Will the defendant please rise?" "Hey buddy, how late does the band play?" "Oh, about half a beat behind the drummer." Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither. Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So they can park in the handicapped spot. How is a drum solo like a sneeze? You know it's coming, but there's nothing you can do about it. What's the first thing a drummer says when he moves to LA? "Would you like fries with that, sir? What is the difference between a drummer and a savings bond? One will mature and make money. Why do drummers have lots of kids? They're not too good at the Rhythm Method. What do you do if you accidentally run over a drummer? Back up. What did the drummer say to the band leader? "Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?" Deep in the African jungle, a safari was camped for the night. In the darkness, distant drums began a relentless throbbing that continued until dawn. The safari members were disturbed, but the guide reassured them: "Drums good. When drums stop, very bad." Every night the drumming continued, and every night the guide reiterated, "Drums good. When drums stop, VERY bad." This continues for several days until one morning the drumming suddenly stops and all the natives panic and run screaming. The man asks the guide what's the matter? The guide looking very frightened says: "When drums stop, VERY, VERY bad," he said. "Why is it bad?" asked a member of the safari. "Because when drums stop, bass solo begin!"

Bane

i was NOT expecting MR. Bean!! it's friggin hilarious! ? alan, you got a point though...

Bob-Dubery

What I thought was the definitive drummer joke is not here.

Q: What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians?

(no prizes for guessing the answer)

Wessel

Wow he really is a genuis to remember this whole routine. Cool video.

Renesongs

Q: What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians?

Ah shucks - I give up, is it, a band-aid ?

Bane

Haha good one!

bENDER

Whahahahahhaaaaa!!! Brilliant jokes! ?

Sean

ha ha ha ha...brilliant, my wife is a drummer...ha ha ha, love it.

arjunmenon

Sean, lets hope you're wife doesn't read this post... ?

Neps

A guy walks into a music store and has a look around. After a while he goes to the sales attendant and says "I'll take that red trumpet, and gold accordion." The sales attendent looks at the guy and asks "You're a drummer, right?" The man answers "Yes, how did you know?" The attendant answers "You can have the Fire Extinguiser, but you cant take the heater!"

Malkav

A lead singer locks his keys in his car, what happens next....it takes him 4 hours to get the drummer out.

How many lead singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...one, he just holds the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him.

How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...99, one to screw in the lightbulb while the other 98 stand around and tell each other how they could have done it better.

How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...99, one to screw in the lightbulb while the other 98 stand around and tell each other about how they preffered the old valves.

What's the difference between a pizza and a musician?...a pizza can feed a family of four.

skinymike

So a bassist locked his keys in the car, took him 2 hours to get the drummer out

arjunmenon

skinymike wrote So a bassist locked his keys in the car, took him 2 hours to get the drummer out

? Bwahahaha

majestikc

Q: What do you get if you cross a lead guitarist with an ape?
A: A retarded ape!

.......oh wait, drummer jokes

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