Heath
1. You call your girl/boyfriend but your guitar's name.
2. You have more picks than pennies in your pockets.
3. You randomly start playing air guitar when your favorite song comes on – and you play the correct chords.
4. A lot of people don't recognize you without your guitar.
5. You have unsuccessfully tried to fly off an amp during a gig.
6. You wouldn't do a windmill for a long time in fear of being like Pete Townshend.
7. You spend more money on strings than on other essential items, like food.
8. The Fender, Takamine, and Peavey homepages are your top three favorite web addresses. Gibson rounds out the top four (happy Alex?)
9. You can connect a full looping rig piece by piece without instructions in two minutes flat.
10. You have a strap burn on the side of your neck from doing an Around The World.
11. You know that drummers can't be trusted with the money.
12. You refuse to play a gig with a brand-new set of strings.
13. So you go to the pub next door and ask to borrow the hand dryer in their bathroom, which you use to simultaneously heat and tune the new strings.
14. You idolize anyone with the surname of Hendrix, Van Halen, Santana, or Mayer.
15. You like to replicate electronic songs using only your guitar and some effects pedals.
16. You can play the Super Mario Brothers theme song blindfolded.
17. You have really pale skin because you stay inside with your guitar instead of going outdoors during the summer.
18. You would sign onto a tour as a roadie just to say you 'worked with_______' (fill in name of idol).
19. You know at least 150 chords.
20. You know at least 150 covers.
21. You have that t-shirt that has the chord diagrams for A, D, and G, and 'Now you can start a band' on it.
22. You know the phone numbers and booking managers of every venue within a 100 mile radius of where you live.
23. You hate to sing back-up vocals because you think they take away from your creative ability you could be spending on improv.
24. You know what a CoolTube is and that it has nothing to do with frozen food.
25. You've ever blown out an amp.
26. You know that Peavey also makes guitars, not just amps.
27. A friend asks you for a guitar recommendation you ask a million questions about what they're looking for, and then give them a single name and model, which you know they'll absolutely love.
28. You refuse to make your guitar checked baggage for a flight and end up taking it as a carry-on despite what the stupid airline people say.
29. The tips of your fingers are so calloused that it doesn't hurt when your burn them on something.
30. You think the expert level on Guitar Hero I and II is way too easy.
31. Your parents ask you for a Christmas list and it consists of concert tickets, amps, pedals, and/or a new guitar.
32. The floor of your car is littered with picks and crumpled up bits of paper with song references written on them.
33. You know for a fact that Kurt Cobain was murdered.
34. Your favorite pass-time is making faces at the back of the front man's head at inappropriate times.
35. You blow off your friends to go to an audio conference that they think you're crazy for going to in the first place.
36. You plan out how you're going to spend your next 12 paychecks while at said conference.
37. If there was a fire in your house and you only had time to save one thing, it would be your guitar.
38. While at a guitar shop, your friend calls and asks what you are doing. When you reply, 'Checking out a hot blonde' they think you're talking about a person.
39. You play a guitar other than your own and feel guilty for cheating.
40. Everyone who works at your local music store knows you by sight because you're always in there looking at guitars.
41. You go through more strings than 'significant others'.
42. Your dad said he dented the Fender, and you run upstairs to check your Strat (yes, I didn't write that one, I know)
43. Someone asks you what your boss is, and you reply with the number of an effect pedal.
44. You know 'flanger' isn't a made up word - it really means something.
45. When visiting a friend in a city you formerly lived in, you get his band together for late night jam sessions and play every cover you can think of and then some.
46. You can fit a battery-powered amp into you suitcase no matter what.
47. You have boxes full of tabs in the bottom of your closet, but you can only play half of them.
48. Your band bails on you 2 days before a gig and you have no problem taking it on solo.
49. You spent Finals week playing your guitar more than you studied
50. You're guilty of being in multiple bands, and often confusing them.
51. You break soemthing on your guitar and feel worse than if you'd broken something on your own body (thanks Alex!)
52. You demand a cameo in your band's music video.
53. While on vacation you see a poster for the Yamaha/Line 6 Teen Garage Band contest in a music shop window, then form a band because hey, you have nothing better to do and like to win things.
54. Your non-musician friends don't understand why you spend hours at a time locked in your room with your guitar. But your musician friends do.
55. You spent the 13 hour road trip to Ohio with your bandamtes thinking of pranks to pull on them at soundcheck.
56. You took a bottle of glue, some cables that no longer work, a bag of "weakened" drumsticks, and a remote control set to work the lights to beforementioned soundcheck.
56. Your cousin asks you to record an song for a figure skating program, and you spend hours trying how to do it and make it sound decent.
57. On a trip with your 70-year-old grandfather, you climb from the passenger seat, over 2 rows of seats to the back of the mini-van where you know he can't hear you play.
59. Someone asks you what you're this weekend and you reply, "Gig. You should come" every. Single. Time.
60. You get yelled at in Psychology class for having a long and extensive conversation with someone about why it's better to sign to an Indie label first, then a major one.
61. Then tell beforesaid teacher why exactly all of that relates to Psychology and he allows you to carry on the conversation.
52. Your girl/boyfriend starts refering to your guitar as "the other woman/man."
54. When given the task in a Speech class to do a demonstration speech, you instantly know that you're going to teach your class how to play guitar.
54. You willing travel half-way across the country to compete in a gutar solo competition.
55. If asked to play a song from a band that sucks, you shake your head and just progress into a solo.
56. Watching live music, all your friends ask "Is he a good guitar player?"
57. You always know when your drummer is going to screw up.
58. You meet someone who doesn't have hands, and you wonder how he's able to live and be happy in his life.
59. If you lost a hand you would kill yourself, but losing a leg is okay.
60. It doesn't matter where you are, but if you see a guitar, you're automatically drawn to it.
61. The car is packed with no room for your guitar, and you refuse to leave for the holidays until it's safely stowed.
63. You have a picture of a guitar as your profile picture.
64. You can't open a soda can because your fingers hurt from playing for hours.
65. Someone asks if you want to go somewhere and your first question is, "Can I bring my guitar?"
66. You hear something clicking int he dryer, and you open it to find a bunch of picks.
67. You feel ashamed when seducing someone by playing, but then get mad when someone with less skill does.
68. You go on holiday somewhere that requires a full 24 hours of traveling, and you leave your guitar behind rather than subject it to the tortures of the baggage hold.
69. By the time you reach your destination you miss your guitar so much, you go buy the same model to play while you're away from home.
70. Your friends start referring to your guitar as one of your appendages.
71. Your cousin who has been playing guitar for a month recieves a 1957 Vintange Reproduction Fender Stratocaster for Christmas, and you plot ways to take her out so you can have it.
72. You have held an acoustic over your head to shake picks out of the sound hole.
73. You have used a capo to hold a bag of chips shut because you couldn't find a chip clip.
74. You're rockin' out and practising stuff with the headphones on, and it's still too loud for everyone else.
75. You have done or experienced any of these. (read less)
