Friday funnies

V8

It's been a while since a friday funny - here are some silly ones...

Two jazz guitarists meet in a bar, and one says, “Yeah man, I bought your last album, it was awesome!” to which the other replies, “Oh so that was you!”.

The fact that there’s a Highway To Hell but only a Stairway To Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

Q:What’s the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist?
A:You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q:What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?
A:Homeless

Q: Why are so many guitar player jokes one liners?
A: So the rest of the band can understand them.

Q:What do you call a gorgeous woman on a guitarist's arm?
A:A tattoo.

four musicians walk into a bar, followed by a guitarist.

Q:Why are there four strings on a bass?
A:Three are spares.

Son: "Daddy, I want to grow up and be a drummer."
Father: "Son, you can't have it both ways."

Q:What's the difference between a puppy and a singer-songwriter?
A:Eventually the puppy stops whining.

Q:What's the difference between a banjo and a cattle grid?
A?eople slow down before they drive over a cattle grid.

A man asks the devil: “how much does it cost to be the greatest guitar player in the world?”
The devil says: “Give me your Soul.”
The man asks: “What can i get for a dollar?”
Devil: “Greatest bass player in the world.”

wern101

"Greatest bass player in the world" - hahahahahahahaha. ROFL.

Hasie

Nice!

Q: What is the difference between a bass player and a family size pizza?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

Lu22

Q: How do you know the stage is completely level?
A: The drool drips out of both corners of the drummer's mouth.

Q: What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and lead guitarist?
A: Nothing, they both suck.

Q: Why do people become drummers instead of guitarists?
A: It's easier to bang drums with sticks than learn the alphabet up to G.

peterleroux

This reminded of the time the bass palyer locked his keys in the car and it took them 4 hours to get the drummer out...

Wizard

Man goes to doctor complaining he hasn't had a bowel movement in a month.
Doctor does every examination he knows; can find nothing wrong.

Doctor says: "what do you do for a living?"
Man: "I'm a musician"

Doctor gives him 50 ront and tells him to buy some food ...

V8

A few more...

The definition of a gentleman. It’s someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t.

Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West.

This bloke said to me, "I'm going to attack you with the neck of a guitar." I said, "Is that a fret?"

Q: Is google a boy or girl?
A: Obviously a girl, because it wont let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas

Wifi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.

Dear Algebra
Please stop asking us to find your x
She's not coming back

V8

Where would we be without the (t)rusty metal zone... :D

Lu22

HAHAHAHA I despise that pedal.

domhatch

What do you call those people who follow musicians around?

I forgot...

Oh yeah, drummers.

V8

A few more...

Squonk

Hated the 80's and still do! ?

domhatch

[quote author=Squonk link=topic=25482.msg271079#msg271079 date=1469791554] Hated the 80's and still do! :) [/quote] Wasn't my favourite period either, Squonkmeister. High school '84 - '89. No, I did not repeat a year, although probably should have :P Started high school in standard 5, went through to matric. Come to think of it, did post-matric as well. So kicked of the 90s in school as well. Now [i]there[/i] is a decade that [i]truly[/i] sucked. BUT (80s positives)... Birth of Metallica, G'nR, (grunge, he said reluctantly, because not all 'grunge bands' were of a level), plenty others. Depeche Mode, REM, Tears for Fears, The Peppers, The Cult, and c'mon - I mean - the PIXIES?!? BUT (80s icks)... Birth of a dearth of 80s pop starlets* with about as much staying power and talent as bogroll. Ick. AND (more 80s plusses)... Some great releases from established artists. Oh well. Just my thoughts dh| *[i]This descriptor is gender-neutral in this case...[/i] And just in case someone accuses me of wondering off-topic: