How to deal marketing calls - the fun way

warrenpridgeon

Standard bank call centre agent called me now... when I said no the first time and he continued with his sales pitch I interrupted him with my own sales pitch:

W: Would you like to buy a midget?
A: What?
W: A midget... a very short person
W: Can I tell you about the benefits of this midget? This midget will bring much joy into your life... so much laugher will be gained from the purchase of this midget.
A: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
W: It's only 1 million for this midget. When can I start your midget cover date?
A: HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Yes please I would like the midget.
W: Cool... all I need is your bank details and pin.
A: HAHAHAHAH

NorioDS

Haha ? Brilliant, man

A friend of ours is a little more sinister. She says, "One moment, please", and goes to have a bath ?

FruitarGeek

Norio wrote A friend of ours is a little more sinister. She says, "One moment, please", and goes to have a bath ?

Sinister? That sounds about right to me haha

warrenpridgeon

I think I caught the guy off guard... He laughed so hard I thought he was going to start choking any moment... I guess people are normally rude to them or ignore them (because they are so persistent)...

flatfourfan

lmao.........

I used to be all rude and tell them to eff off, but now I just pass my phone to my 6 year old daughter and say hang on a moment.

They eventually hang up because they're not in the mood to hear about Barbie hooking up with action man.

NorioDS

Oh man! I want a kid now, JUST so I can do this! Genius ?

flatfourfan wrote lmao.........

I used to be all rude and tell them to eff off, but now I just pass my phone to my 6 year old daughter and say hang on a moment.

They eventually hang up because they're not in the mood to hear about Barbie hooking up with action man.

Malkav

If the voice is female normally I start to ask them what they're wearing, then slowly it becomes more and more perverse, generally they've hung up before it starts to sound like a full blown sex hotline.

If it's a dude then the above may apply for shits and giggles, otherwise I just go with whatever springs to mind at the time, this has included situations like the "holy crap there's a man on that rooftop, oh shit he just jumped" and then hanging up in a panic ?

DonovanB

Chad Adam Browne wrote this has included situations like the "holy crap there's a man on that rooftop, oh shit he just jumped" and then hanging up in a panic ?

That is awesome!

Sebber

Lol, I also like to twist it so I'm taking advantage of their call to me to try to sell them something. Dig the midget idea, dibs to you Warren, may well use that one some time.

Doomsower

I like pretending I can only understand Afrikaans. That sorts out 99% of them.