Tamla Kahn song in the making

Hammeron

We are going into the studio in the June holidays to re-do some of our old stuff and do some new ones. Me and Phil recorderd the shell of one of the new ones on Saturday, just guitars and vocal. The bass and percusion to follow later.
We would greatly appreciate the forumites esteemed criticism and incredible foresight in this most important matter. Thanking you all before the fact.
https://www.box.com/s/fjv52mvow20w2322aig8

Hammeron

C'mon lads, no takers?

21Fretter

Without drums, it was a bit boring for me. When I added them kinda in my head, I could imagine a slight Iron Maiden feel/could hear the direction you were going for.

The 2nd verse for me. If you cut the bridge between the change in riff (the bridge is the changed riff as well) (@2:30) and go straight into the humming with changed riff, would help for me.

Chocklit_Thunda

Hammeron wrote: C'mon lads, no takers?

Sorry ma'am! I downloaded the track and listened a few times this afternoon but forgot to post my 2c!

I'll give it a few more listens and then give you a full idea but right now off all I can think is that it just doesn't sound right without bass or drums.... I tried imagining a drum and bass track to go with it just to help my though process.

Off the top of my head though I think the verse and chorus could have something to gel them together (perhaps done with the bass or the drums) and also the vocals could probably get louder or more intense for that chorusy bit.

I'll post more after I give it another listen

Bob-Dubery

I don't know how you hear the finished product in your head. I think you might do better by going for a big contrast between the two parts - leaving the verse pretty much as is and then giving it beans (and drums) on the chorus.

I'm not sure about the lyrics. It sounds a bit like the sort of second-hand Tolkien stuff that Led Zep did early on. And that's been done to death by now.

I like the low notes on the 1 beat in the verse, and the way you let them ring.

Bob-Dubery

And you know what? This is not the best I've heard from you, Tamla. I've heard far more interesting pieces than this.

Maybe you need to get a producer in to help you select the best of your repertoire, or somebody else who can play the role of the objective critical ear.