Great put downs in songs

IceCreamMan

Well, I hope Neil Young will remember
A Southern man don't need him around anyhow

Reinhard

"Cos if my baby don't love me no more.
I know her sister will! "

Hendrix - Red House

I will stick to a clean one.

singemonkey

Something is happening here, but you don't know what it is,
Do you... Mr. Jones.

Bobby D

AlanRatcliffe

"The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down" - Zappa, Cozmik Debris

Not a guy you want to verbally spar with either...

Bob-Dubery

"Turn up the Eagles, the neighbours are listening". Steely Dan, Everything You Did

Bob-Dubery

"The only thing you done was yesterday
And since you're gone you're just another day"

John Lennon, How Do You Sleep? which is a litany of put downs aimed at Paul McCartney

Warren

Red House Painters (Mistress):

"Your praise little gifts you spent your money
And stuffed me with
Didn't amount to anything
The attention I need is much more serious

A kind of weight you couldn't lift
Even if your cheap career depended on it
I need someone much more mysterious
To be my, to be my miss
To be my mistress"

AlanRatcliffe

The whole of Queen's "Death On Two Legs":

You suck my blood like a leech
You break the law and you breach
Screw my brain till it hurts
You've taken all my money - you still want more,

Misguided old mule
With your pigheaded rules
With your narrow - minded cronies who are fools of the first division-

Death on two legs -
You're tearing me apart,
Death on two legs
You never had a heard of your own -

Kill joy, Bad guy,
Big talking, Small fry
You're just an old barrow - boy
Have you found a new toy to replace me,
Can you face me -

But now you can kiss my ass goodbye

Feel good, are you satisfied

Do you feel like suicide (I think you should)
Is your conscience all right
Does it plague you at night,
Do you feel good - Feel good!

Talk like a big business tycoon,
But you're just a hot - air balloon,
So no one gives you a damn,
You're just an overgrown school - boy
Let me tan your hide.

A dog with disease,
King of the 'sleaze'
Put your money where your mouth is Mr. Know all,
Was the fin on your back part of the deal...(shark!)

Death on two legs
You're tearing me apart
Death on two legs -
You never had a heart of your own,
(You never did, right from the start)

Insane you should be put inside,
You're a sewer - rat decaying in a cesspool of pride
Should be made unemployed
Then make yourself null - and - void,
Make me feel good
I feel good.

costafonix

I wonder how many times you had sex
And I wonder do you know who'll be next
I wonder I wonder wonder I do....

Rodriguez

Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street
From my window I'm starin' while my coffee goes cold
Look over there (where?) there, there's a lady that I used to know
She's married now, or engaged, or somethin', so I'm told

Is she really going out with him?
Is she really gonna take him home tonight?
Is she really going out with him?
'Cause if my eyes don't deceive me
There's somethin' goin' wrong around here

Joe Jackson

Bob-Dubery

How does he hold those notes so long?
He must be a genius? - wrong!
He just has the mindlessness to do it.

He makes Britney sound like scat
If this is jazz I'll eat my hat
An idle threat I'll never have to chew it.

From "I Agree With Pat Metheny" by Richard Thompson, a long, detailed put down of Kenny G, who upset some folks by overdubbing himself on Louis Armstrong's records.

Also contains this marvellous couplet

A meeting of great minds, how nice
Like Einstein and Sporty Spice

Read the whole brutal thing at http://www.richardthompson-music.com/song_o_matic.asp?id=611

studmissile

My woman left me and I'm sure glad she did
My old gal left me and I'm glad she took the kids
Now I got less mouths to feed and more room to sleep in a bed

I got the good news blues, smilin' on a rainy day
Got the good news blues, done sung all my troubles away
Ain't got no achin' bones, got no bills to pay

A politician will say what you want to hear
Lord it's here one day and right out the other ear
He'll promise you whiskey and won't even give you a beer

Got the good news blues, smilin' on a rainy day
Got the good news blues, done sung all my troubles away
Ain't got no achin' bones, got no bills to pay

billy joe shaver "good news blues"

deefstes

Carly Simon wroteYou're so vain, you probably think this song is about you

And I'm surprised Bob hasn't pointed this one out yet - but to be fair, he has quoted Richard Thompson:

Richard Thompson wrote Hey now, Geordie, sing us all a song
Whoa there, Geordie, where's your mother tongue?
That don't sound like Tyneside to me
Geordie, are you from Jamaicee?

singemonkey

And speaking of which:

When you pat me on the back, that was quite some slap
That kind of compliment, it could kill a chap

So I'll drink your health, oh this emotion's given me a thirst
But maybe I'll have my food-taster drink it first

Put it there pal, put it there

- R. Thompson

studmissile

chris77

A few bars from a song by comedian Dennis Leary about a certain group of his fellow Americans he has no love for. But to be fair to the Yanks, they are found everywhere. ?

Warning: The lyrics contain some profanity.

I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table and a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
(Oh no)
No way
(Uh-uh)
No, I've gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
(Oh yeah)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying
"How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(He's the world's biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole

You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac, El Dorado convertible
Hot pink with whaleskin hub caps and all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, yeah
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 mph
Getting one mile per gallon, sucking down quarter pounder
Cheese burgers from McDonald's in the old fashioned
Non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam container right out the side
And there ain't a goddamned thing anybody can do about it

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying
"How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(He's the world's biggest asshole)

Renesongs

X-rated Bob wrote "Turn up the Eagles, the neighbours are listening". Steely Dan, Everything You Did

And the retort "They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast" - Hotel California

Bob-Dubery

Renesongs wrote
X-rated Bob wrote "Turn up the Eagles, the neighbours are listening". Steely Dan, Everything You Did
And the retort "They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast" - Hotel California

Not nearly as good/bad.

Trippp

You're such an inspiration for the ways
That I'll never ever choose to be

A Perfect Circle - Judith

Malkav

Alan has already mentioned Frank, so I'm going to mention the person I look at as being the closest thing we have lyrically in this day and age:

"Rockstar for a Day" is Bumblefoot's jab at celebrity in general, the whole song is pretty much one run on insult ?

I just turned 19 for the 16th time
Posing with bottles of the finest wine
I'm only seen with people just like me
So rich that we get everything for free
Spouting politics from my limosine
Because you care - About the product in my hair
About the clothes I'm gonna wear
To the event where we congratulate ourselves

I wanna be a rockstar for a day - I want my 15 minutes of fame
But I've got face that's made for radio - And my body's a disgrace
I wanna be a rockstar for a day - I wanna get botox in LA
'Cause I've got a face that's made for radio - And a voice that's made for... I don't know
But you'll love me anyway

So tell me tell me tell me - am i great?
Will you tattoo my CD cover on your face?
So do you wanna win a date with me?
We can talk all night about me me me? me?
Sitting by candlelight telling stories about my car
Because you care - About the product in my hair
About the clothes I'm gonna wear
To the event where we congratulate ourselves

I wanna be a rockstar for a day - I want my 15 minutes of fame
But I've got face that's made for radio - And I never could get laid
So I wanna be a rockstar for a day - I'm gonna get a pornstar for a date
But I've got a face that's made for radio - And a voice that's made for... I don't know
But you'll love me anyway

All of my entourage can join my fanclub membership
And get a year free for 1 friend & my autographed guitar pick
As for the ugly rumors they're all started by my publicist
And yes it's true - I was born on the moon and have 3000 kids
My contribution to humanity is saying I'm part of it
And when I sneeze it's history - in a century you'll read about it
Because you care - so let's congratulate ourselves.

I wanna be a rockstar for a day I want my 15 minutes of fame
But I've got face that's made for radio - And my body's a disgrace
So I wanna be a rockstar for a day - Got implants everywhere except my brain
'Cause I've got a face that's made for radio - And a voice that's made for... I don't know
And my songs are kinda lame - Tomorrow you'll forget my name
But you'll love me for today - But you'll love me anyway
Yeah ya love me anyway

And in one genious creation in the track "Can't play the Blues" he insults both the old school minded blues players and shredders simultaneously ?

I play as fast as I can - I'm the Gingerbread Man
With a fast hand - won't ya kick me outta your band
I only play for me - I'm the king of Unity
I'm a team of one - a defective hired gun

I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam
Cause ya feel like a pawn in a volume war
And I'm the only one who bothers keeping score

Because I got no feel - I got no emotion
My riffs aren't real - I just go through the motions
I'm fulla tricks and trinkets that I always use
I aint got much choice - I can't play the blues

And just in case I'm in a finger race
I keep it up and I keep pretending that I win the chase
But if ya play faster than the speed of light (according to Einstein)
Ya go back in time - and end up in the 80's

With our big hair
Jackets with fringes
Stretch pants
Mascara
Choreographed kicking

You got a big laugh outta 70's disco
But you became the same by a different name
Ya forgot to change your calendar 10 years in a row
Now ya can't find the pace of the new game

I play it like a ham, yeah with lots of spice
I'm the Son Of Spam in a block of ice
Yeah, I can't lay back - I get all confused
And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used

CHORUS

Yeah I actually believe that if I wail up and down a scale
Then the world is gonna get up on their feet and yell...
"Hail Ronald! Hail Ronald!
Take your big head and go to Hail, Ronald!"

Yeah, I can't lay back - I get all confused
And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used
I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam

References:

=

The satire becomes a lot more obvious when you hear the track and realise that lyrically it seems very one sided towards ripping off shredders, but musically he takes out the old school mentality players as well ?

=

And in this one the sheer level of theatrics behind the words makes it awesome ?

DonovanB

"I hate you so much right now" Kelis.. 8)

You could list a whole Eminem album. or are we sticking to intelligent music?