giggsy
With the guitar that is...
Earlier this year I revitalised my guitar collection. I got some fantastic effects and amazing guitars, as I thought that I was spending more time buying and selling guitars than actually playing with them. I was hoping that the new purchases would invigorate and restoke my passion for playing the guitar. And they sort of did. Last night though, after trying to play for a bit, I got fed up - I wasnt enjoying myself and haven't for a while. I now have to force myself to play, rather than wanting to.
Not sure what it is... Okay, well I do know that I haven't progressed as a player in ages, and for a while I was happy with that - I play for no one other than myself
(apart from the odd occasion when I am needed to play bass) so jamming along to some songs, trying out some new riffs and just enjoying playing music was okay for a while. Yes, lessons will help, and I will hopefully go that route sometime - the thing is, I work for myself from home and have two young kids. When Im not fetching, dressing, bathing, playing, feeding and spending quality time with the kids, I am working. Being based at home is awesome and I wouldnt have it any other way, but unlike an office job, I cant come home and thats it, there is always something to do, and if I dont work I dont get paid. Been having a struggle with my little one year old dude's sleeping - he'd sleep for 45 at a time, so after getting kids down we'd have supper, then he'd wake, get him down again, clean up, do a bit of work, then he'd wake etc etc. That's got better at last, but now apart from work, I have to try fit in some time with the wife, the occasional run in the evening, and if we're lucky, catching up on a bit of TV.
I keep thinking that in about a year things will have settled down with the kids, but hell, a year... last night I was seriously ready to pack it all in and sell all my gear. But then I thought how great it will be to teach the kids to play as they grow and I remembered the thrill of nailing a new song...
Sorry for this indulgent, whinning post - was just going to type it out and delete it to get it off my chest, but hey, maybe others are/have been in a similar boat.
AlanRatcliffe
Yup. We all go through this. Grab what time you can when you can and if it feels like a chore, wait until you do feel motivated and have the time.
It turns around eventually and you'll be glad you stuck with it.
Bob-Dubery
It's no sin to not play guitar or to stop if you derive no satisfaction from it.
I feel like packing it all in fairly regularly. The difference, I think, in our situations is that I have an occasional outlet for live performance, and that does make a difference. Music is a lot more fun, a lot more satisfying (also a little scarier) when it is shared.
Another difference may be that I'm pretty limited as a player, so my chances of covering most songs exactly are not great. Plus I find that idea boring and nobody's paying me to produce exact copies. So I like to take a song that I like as a song and work out my own arrangement for it - partly to bring things down to my level, partly to put a bit of a personal stamp on proceedings.
The song I most recently got to grips with was an obscure Richard Thompson song "Small Town Romance". No chance of trying to match the original, but I wanted to sing it and I thought I could do a passable version. I had to work out a little instrumental passage, which takes some hints and one little lick from the original, but it's my own and stretches me a bit. Especially when I play to an audience other than my dogs. Last time I played it live I finally got that instrumental right in real time with no safety net. That was a bit annoying because I'd said to myself "this one last time. Then you put them away and sell them in 10 years time." Dang! Then I had to go and get that little break right. But it was encouraging too ? and then you get the audience listening and you're delivering the message in the song to them. That felt OK too.
So, you should not feel embarrassed or defeated in giving up a hobby that no longer brings you pleasure. I've done it plenty of times. Gave up stamp collecting, drifted out of bird watching, have had periods of playing and not playing guitar in my life, used to program at home for fun but don't any more, used to go to gym on a regular basis. Etc etc blah blah. I don't regret any of them either, they all made the world a little bigger, a little more colourful, a little more interesting.
But all that said, maybe you want to try and make it more about you making something of your own or at least with your own stamp on it.
Maybe hedge your bets and pack your gear away somewhere safe but not too hard to get at, and see if you get an itch that needs some scratching.
Squonk
This mode happens to me often.
Why don't you consider an open mic (Like TJ's), really gives you something to work towards. Even with hectic family schedules, give yourself one night out a month where you either perform or watch musicians. Watching live music always gives me huge inspiration.
Saw Joshua Grierson in August and when I got home, I played guitar till 3 AM.
Dont give up Giggsy
kapepper
I am playing since i was 14 (now I am 35) and there were times (years) i barely looked at my guitar, but the guitar was always there (in my living room) and I learned not to push it, because then it becomes a "job".
if you dont feel like playing, well don't play...but keep that guitar in sight ?
Like said earlier, I also have learned that playing guitar is in correlation with listening to music/going to concerts...
V8
Yeah, know the feeling - was bad enough that I took apart my electric guitar to strip down to a wood finish, bagged all the parts and said "If you put it back together - then you can start playing again"...took two years to get it going again.
Had a flash of this yesterday again, no biggie, just put the bass & guitar back into their cases for a holiday and started abusing the drums for a bit. Want to get a regular jam/gig going, like the gentlemen are reccomending - it does help keep motivation/inspiration levels up.
Keep on truckin' giggsy!
Banditman
Reality sometimes bites hard. It can be the need to earn a living, starting over again, changing life circumstances (e.g. wife and kids & no longer the single batchelor). Sometimes - as X-Bob says - you'll find that a hobby has run its course.
Moving from the UK, starting a business (and life) again from scratch meant that several passions just had to be put on the shelf for lack of finance & time in equal parts. I've not had a project bike or car since '06, and it sometimes takes discipline to NOT look for a candidate hotrod online. Thanks to a decade of moving back & forth between countries I've got a stack of model kits sitting in the cupboard. There comes a point where your passion/hobby steps up another level and the tools you need to do it become more specialised and expensive. Just like the guitar. The frustration of not being able to get things done for those reasons can lead to a pile of unfinished projects in the spare room or garage.
Don't feel bad about putting it on hold for a season. Family & work have to be a first priority investment, but the time will come again when you have the space to scratch the itch. Ironically, my other half's 11yr old son has got me building kits again. I've gotten him into the fun of glueing Airfix kits together as a way to encourage him away from the TV and to bond (no pun intended). You might find the same thing happens for you with the guitar.
But somehow I think you'll get back into it sooner rather than later. ?
giggsy
Thanks for the replies chaps - not looking for sympathy at all, just venting frustrations. I think it also comes down to me feeling guilty that I have these expensive 'toys' that then they sit untouched. Got to just let it happen not force it like some have pointed out :-[
shaundtsl
I can really relate to this too. I often go through these stages, life just gets to hectic. But dont get rid of the gear, you are going to regret that when you feel you want to reach for a guitar and its not there... ☹
jt
Expensive gear that you cant give justice to? I know this feeling (to a very limited extent as i dont have alot/enough), but i do think that its better than having bad gear that doesn't do justice to You! If you knew of my facility with frequencies and instruments you would feel happier than ever before about your ability! Also, as for all your spare time being spent on and with the family, its definately time well spent !!! Who could disagree to that!??
Riaan-Combrink
I also relate to your post in a big way. I also juggle a hectic work and home schedule (boys aged 3 and 8!), and hit an absolute wall in my guitar enjoyment about a year ago. But my issue was different. I play semi-pro in a covers duo with my wife of all people, and the little time I had for guitar was spent learning really silly songs to play for the common denominator punters. So this became a mind-numbing and joy-sapping routine that had me regretting the entire scene.
For me, what unlocked it was simply trying to do something different with the guitar. I had been playing rhythm for more than 20 years, and had no lead chops. As this was obviously limiting what we could do in the duo ("what do you mean you don't play Hotel California????? ? x 1000), decided to knuckle down and learn some scales, etc. Being able to run some simple lines (even just in the pentatonic boxes) has reinvigorated my interest. Even got a standing ovation for my lead on Smoke on the Water (I know :-[) one night that made me wish I'd done this years ago.
So I agree with the other guys. Don't worry - its natural. It will come and go. But maybe set yourself a specific goal (learn alternate picking, etc whatever). It may rekindle the juices that made you pick up an axe in the first place.
domhatch
hey giggs. i'm in exactly the same spot. i have three electrics (including a prs custom 22), a larrivee acoustic, a home recording setup (with reaper, powered studio monitors and a line 6 thingy with built-in midi keyboard controller) and i ain't touched most of it in ages. but i've been in contact with a teacher and i'm moving forward.
your main issue is the kids. now, you can't trade 'em in - trust me, i thought about it with both mine, but the trade value is low and you regret it pretty soon. ? one thing you can do is create a practice/play space if you have the room, and dedicate a little time every day to music. it doesn't have to be practicing. it can just be messing around, listening, watching something new, old, classic, whatever, on youtube... you get the picture. maybe put the guitars aside for a while and just regrow your appreciation for music, for the stuff you love, for the reason you picked up a guitar in the first place.
and maybe, just maybe, make yourself unavailable to play bass for a while. it might also be contributing to why you're not so into 'tha geetah' at the mo...
good luck bud. hang in there. unlike kean de villiers, this too shall pass...
dh
Arno-West
Stuff it. Dont stress about the guitar playing time. Enjoy the time you spend runnimg after your kids (I know, how could you?). I only see my kids once a week. I wish I could run after them every single day like I used to, like you do Giggsy. There will plenty time to play guitar when they're a bit older. Cherish the time that you are the only thing that matters in a kids life cos its gone too soon.
domhatch
Arno West wrote:
Stuff it. Dont stress about the guitar playing time. Enjoy the time you spend runnimg after your kids (I know, how could you?). I only see my kids once a week. I wish I could run after them every single day like I used to, like you do Giggsy. There will plenty time to play guitar when they're a bit older. Cherish the time that you are the only thing that matters in a kids life cos its gone too soon.
there is that, too. ?
Wizard
Arno West wrote:
Stuff it. Dont stress about the guitar playing time. Enjoy the time you spend runnimg after your kids (I know, how could you?). I only see my kids once a week. I wish I could run after them every single day like I used to, like you do Giggsy. There will plenty time to play guitar when they're a bit older. Cherish the time that you are the only thing that matters in a kids life cos its gone too soon.
+1
My kids just turned 18 and 20.
How did that happen?
shaundtsl
Arno West wrote:
Stuff it. Dont stress about the guitar playing time. Enjoy the time you spend runnimg after your kids (I know, how could you?). I only see my kids once a week. I wish I could run after them every single day like I used to, like you do Giggsy. There will plenty time to play guitar when they're a bit older. Cherish the time that you are the only thing that matters in a kids life cos its gone too soon.
+1 8)
Charlie4
From a personal perspective, the things that lure me to play guitar, these days at least, are curiosity and a sense of challenge. Before I realised those reasons there were months were I didn't play guitar simply because of boredom. Ridiculous I know but true.
One good thing at least is that as long as the hands and mind works it's all good. There is no age-limit to learning and progressing on the guitar.
If time off is needed to re-ignite your love for guitar then I'm all for it.
BluJu
Don't stress yourself out too much.
The frustrated musician feeling does not stop at novice or intermediate.
I can guarantee that Steve Vai often feels the same way.
If you don't feel like playing don't force yourself, you will just end up resenting the hobby.
These days I do very little playing outside of band prac whilst when I was in school I was super motivated.
As for collecting and chatting about gear, I see that as a different hobby and skill all together.
singemonkey
Agreed Giggsy. If the gear needs to go into the cupboard for a bit, do that rather than sell.
Especially now that you have decent stuff. And one day it may be your kids digging those guitars out and having the time of their lives.
D-tox
I was an Avid muso 12 years back, all dreams and in the right circles, But I chose to stop all for my family, maried now for 10 years with 3 kids (3,6 and 9) best move ever!!! I played @ home mostly on and of ,and I finaly found time again last year to take it more seriously, earlier this year I felt I should just give it all up and just be a "spectator" nearly sold all my stuff but Gummtree was having problems that day, goes to show, not long after that all worked out well and I have the time to do 3 live performances a week, so far so good..
Hang in there, all works out in the end! ?
