eric-vaxxine
A bass player I know once walked past a pub......!
He did...really, it is true, I saw him do it!
A guitarist asks his drummer to go and buy him some strings.
Guitarist: 'I need a set of Ernie Ball, '9 to 46'.
Drummer: 'Ernie Ball, 9 to 46. OK!'
Drummer walks into a shop and says...
'I need a set of Ernie Ball, 9 to 46, please'
Shop keeper says 'You're a drummer aren't you?'
Drummer replies 'How did you know?'
Shop keeper says ' This is a Hardware Store'!
What is the difference between a Pro Jazz guitarist
and a 12 inch Pizza?
A 12 inch pizza can feed a family of four.
How do you know when the drum riser is level?
The drummer dibbles from both sides of his mouth.
Big-G
A drummer arrives home to find his missus in bed with the post man....
His timing couldn't have been worse! ba-dum tish!
Shibbibilybob
You're relaxing at home when you hear a knocking on your door...how do you know it's your drummer?
The knocking slows down, speeds up and he forgets when to come in.
How do you know if someone is a singer in a band?
They'll tell you dude, they'll tell you.
Nitebob
How many girkl singer does it take to change a lightbulb?
1, She hold the lightbulb still and the world keeps on revolving around her...
How do you get a drummer off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza
Guy goes to Africa on holiday. That night when he goes to sleep he hears drums off in the distance. He struggles to sleep that night. The next morning he goes to the tour guide and complains about the drums. Tour guide answers: Better than when drums stop. Next night the drums are even louder, and he gets even less sleep. Next morning he complains to the lodge manager. Manager answers: Better than when drums stop. Next day the sleep in a cultural villiage right where the drums originated from. Halfway through the night he runs out screaming at the Chief about the drums. Chief says: Better than wen drums stop. The tourist now irate screams: For Pete's sake, what happens when the drums stop? The Chief answers: Bass solo...
Malkav
A guitarist once locked his keys in his car...
It took 3 hours to get the drummer out. ?
Nitebob
Q: How do you get two electric guitarists to play in unison?
A: Shoot one of them
Q: What do you call a bassist without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless
Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a Ukelele?
A: A Ukelele only burns half as long
Q: What is the difference between a bull and an orchestra
A: The bull has the horns in front and the @ss in the back
...guy walks into a fingerstyle guitar convention, picks up a guitar and begins to play. He plays so beautifully that before he has finished the song, he has attracted a crowd of fingerstlye guitarist onlookers.
"What is that strange tuning?!" he is asked.
"EADGBE" he replies.
A young, single woman is feeling very ill and has an extensive series of tests done by her doctor. After weeks of tests and more tests, the doctor calls her in. He tells her, I have to be frank with you the test results are not good. You have an incurable disease, and it is terminal. I would think you have no more than six months to live.
Devastated, she sobbingly asks the doctor, is there anything I can do?
The doctor says, well, if I were you I would run out and marry a Fingerstyle Guitarist ASAP.
She asks, How will that help my illness?
The doctor says, "Oh it won't help your illness;
but it will make that six months seem like an eternity!"
