Rate my first music video / give an opinion

sour

I would prefer to write a decent post explaining my 'situation', but I feel that would be rather trivial considering it all boils down to a few points. So without further ado:

1) I am C O M P L E T E L Y self-taught. In EVERYTHING. I cannot write or read music. I cannot engineer decent synths or sounds. Therefore:
2) I hate my music
3) I really hate my music
4) I have been creating songs for 9 years, made thousands, literally, however I never let anyone other than myself hear it. Simply for fear of rejection and ridicule (it is pathetic I know). The reason is simplel: because I am self-taught my songs ALWAYS sound extraordinarily unprofessional.

Recently I decided to adopt a more 'apathetic' approach. I decided to make a music video and post it (something which is fairly hard for me to do, again I know, it is rather pathetic). While I want to continue with the 'apathetic' demeanour I still want feedback/advice/opinions/criticism, even if it is vastly negative.

This specific song is slightly morose and dark. Something which I do not usually do. In fact I use the ala 'f' word a few times so realize it is semi-NSFW.

Now I know I have been fairly frank and pessimistic, but please listen to the song and leave some comments. Voice whatever you feel and, if at all possible, just enjoy the song...

\?/

sepheritoh

I think it is pretty good for the genre. Like it a lot.

I have heard a lot worse than this, so you do not have to feel bad about anything. Being self taught is no sin. Some of my greatest heros are self taught. Knowing nothing about music and not bothering to learn is a greater sin. I am totally self taught and from doing my own reading and studeis on the internet for totally free, I am today capable of writing a symphony (LOL).

PS. I expected some guitar based song (as this is a guitar players forum), but some electronic punk music is always great!

AlanRatcliffe

I'm also self-taught. As long as you learn, it doesn't matter how you do it.

Pretty good for the genre. Electronica is difficult to jazz up to the point of being really interesting, and that's probably my only real complaint here - there's not enough going on, not enough movement and change to hold my interest for long. Otherwise, you're off to a great start.

sour

Thanks for the comments!

sepheritoh wrote: PS. I expected some guitar based song (as this is a guitar players forum), but some electronic punk music is always great!

Yes, I must apologize, I knew it was a guitar forum, but I was fairly desperate for some opinions. And besides, I love the fact that this is a local forum! SA ftw. I will still contribute if I can get a chance, seeing as I do not really play guitar.

And yes, I found it hard creating songs electronically therefore I also find it slightly dull. Doing a melody on a computer does not sound as nice as playing it on a piano for instance.

I must confess though I posted the link to the video on four other sites, and thus far I have gotten fairly negative responses. So I will probably not make more songs public. I know one must not really let the remarks get to one, but it is hard, especially since I am quite new to idea of other folks hearing my music.

HHHHHHHHOWEVER! I honestly appreciate the comments. I really really do. Thanks guys.

AlanRatcliffe

Don't be discouraged by what people on other sites say. We have a good bunch of folks around here who will try give you honest and, above all, constructive criticism. The non-guitar thing isn't the end of the world - many of us are into recording and/or synths too (and other instruments besides guitar).

Don't be too down on your own music. We all tend to compare our music to some of the worlds best (and it will almost always compare unfavourably when we do). The trick is to stop being intimidated by other music, rather use it to inspire you and present a ideal that you can aspire too and drive you to improve your own efforts. Try get out of the mindset that music is competitive - in reality there will always be others who are better at it than you, so relax and start enjoying the creation of your own music and also the learning process. When in doubt, look back at what you created a year ago, compare it to what you are creating now ...and then imagine what you will be creating a year from now.

Why not look into collaborating with other musos? Fairly easy to do across the Net these days and you can learn a lot just by seeing how someone else approaches something. Finding others willing to try working on something new isn't that difficult.

Bob-Dubery

What caught my attention are the lyrics. The problem is that some times they sound like you're just looking for rhymes. tossing any old thing in there as long as it results in a rhyme. OK... getting lyrics that rhyme and say what you want to say is easier said than done, but maybe you want to look at that aspect.

It was in time. That's good. Timing slips are always very obvious. I think you know more about music than you let on. You're obviously working in a scheme that has bars and so many beats to the bar. That's already something that some people I know (who can play guitar) have never got into their head.

vic

Let me be honest...I quite like it :bopping: (coming from someone who's more into melodic ol' time rock 'n roll.... ? ). The timing is great and all that...as for the lyrics...not my cuppa, but that's just me.
I also liked your natural voice (the voices are not computer hey ? ) and you could perhaps do more in that mode. And it's no sin to sing about the beauties of this world...maybe that's what this genre needs...?
Other than that STOP being so pessimistic...life is too short for that 8)

Rock on ! Let's hear some more please.

sepheritoh

Hey, to give up now after a few negative comments from others would be just wrong. That is because 1) You are good enough to be heard and 2) the more you get out there the more chance you get to improve. Sachin Tendulkar did not make his fifty centuries in his first game. He had to slog it out. No-one can become perfect at once. If you have the desire to get better, then you will only gain from exposing yourself to public critism. If people try to be negative - do not worry about it. I have heard pretty negative comments towards Lady Gaga (many from myself!!). That does not bother her and she is making millions with her total lack of talent!

FruitarGeek

I like this a lot. I wont lie, for me personally it was a little (just a tad) too dark, but I am a BIG fan of Depeche Mode, and they also have many dark songs. This song aside from the voice is very Depeche Mode. Nice use of the synths. By the way, I actually like the guys voice, how did you produce that or is it a sample?

sour

Thanks for the comments guys. Honestly, I really appreciate it.

Alan Ratcliffe wrote: Why not look into collaborating with other musos? Fairly easy to do across the Net these days and you can learn a lot just by seeing how someone else approaches something. Finding others willing to try working on something new isn't that difficult.

Can one collaborate with someone when he/she cannot read or write music (yet)? I would love that as it would be quite an experience!

X-rated Bob wrote: What caught my attention are the lyrics. The problem is that some times they sound like you're just looking for rhymes. tossing any old thing in there as long as it results in a rhyme. OK... getting lyrics that rhyme and say what you want to say is easier said than done, but maybe you want to look at that aspect.

Yes it is quite prominent that the lyrics are not really intricate. I have a tendency to write complicated lyrics with some rather big words, and needless to say that did not sound particularly good as well. So with this song I tried something completely different, again it did not really work. But I understand your point, I need to find more suitable lyrics that can harmonize with the music.

For the most part, it seems that the consensus is I need to be more at ease with the stuff I create. And I will try harder to appreciate my work, as I am just in this rut to think otherwise.

And as for the voice, I 'sung' the lyrics. However the way that I physically adjust my voice makes it impossible for me to sing. Meaning I can only do that one tone. After it was sung I added a very slight Flanger effect for some added 'evilness'.

Again guys thanks for the feedback.

[deleted]

\?/

?

Well there's definitely a lot to comment on, which is good in any situation. Think how terrible it would be for someone to have absolutely NO reaction to your music. Constructive criticism is all that you should EVER listen to, since people who purely degrade what you do are unqualified to be giving advice(I think).

From a philosophical point of veiw I think your song touches on a very strong emotional current that popular culture seldom airs. From my own point of veiw I think guilt is used by so many industries to make money and that stoic acceptance of guilt and commitment to improving our wicked ways is considered the only means of dealing with it.

Frankly I prefer your peice of music to the type of large rock concerts that are supporting some "cuase", when the concert itself is a perfect example of over-the-top wastefullness. People like to feel they're doing the "right" thing whether they are or are not. I am more sickened by that than anything in your video.

It's also strange to think that so many people will have a strong reaction to the lyrics, and yet no one can truly say that they are faultless. So where is the line between purely accepting our human nature, or perpetuating a negative emotion?

Since music is about our intentions, (once again "I think"), I just am still wondering what your intention was for this peice of music? Do you plan on evolving this current perception, adding more depth to it, or are you going to capitalise on the passion that comes from confronting popular culture? It is a great undertaking and congratulations for your creativity!

sour

This specific song was fundamentally an experiment in relation to my other works, however there is a slight purpose in it. While I strongly disapprove of explaining any creative works done by an individual (it should always be open to interpretation to that of the reciever), this the song, for me, has to do with human-nature and its destructive force. Our innate tendencies to defile whatever we possess. Not at all about me, or my ambitions. So whether or not it is about 'accepting our human nature' or 'perpetuating negative emotion' is all about how YOU interpret the message.

So if my intention must be defined for this song I surmise it would be the depiction of something tainted, to draw focus to something which is suppose to be infinite in wisdom yet so brute and foul. Nothing elaborate.

And I truly do not wish to capitalize on the passion that comes from confronting popular culture, and I do wish to add more intricacies to my creations, however the depth would be subjective to that which I am or will feel towards a situation. It is not that I discern only negativity, but merely that that is the emotions that presented itself when I made that song. When that is lucid it can be presented in a more vivid form.

And I also think that an artist's evolution in music (or anything) is inevitable, so yes, I will defintely be evloving my current 'perception' as well as adding more.

Either way, thank you for the comment.

\?/

[deleted]

And I also think that an artist's evolution in music (or anything) is inevitable, so yes, I will defintely be evloving my current 'perception' as well as adding more.

That's what I thought, so thanks for confirming.

Obviously you have very little control over how people percieve your work(I'm an artist, so I KNOW there are as many ways to percieve art as there are people), although I think I percieved your song quite closely to how you intended. I still see it as okay to explain your intentions as I'm always more than happy to explain my art.

MIKA-the-better-one

Viccy wrote:
\?/
From a philosophical point of veiw I think your song touches on a very strong emotional current that popular culture seldom airs. From my own point of veiw I think guilt is used by so many industries to make money and that stoic acceptance of guilt and commitment to improving our wicked ways is considered the only means of dealing with it.

mmmhmmmmm :-\ :-\ :-\ Thats a lot of reading into something ? ? ?

IT sounds like nine inch nails ALOT!!!! Dont know if thats a good or bad thing

[deleted]

Thats a lot of reading into something

One of my favorite passtimes.